petal poetry

blurry

02:20 23/11/2018

perhaps you should let go of my throat
so that i can speak
it's harder to talk
when you just can't breathe

and maybe i should take my glasses off
so that i can see
because it's too cold
and i'm blocked by the steam

but if my stomach groans
am i supposed to roast it with coffee
or shower it in ethanol
hoping it will help itself

should i listen to the magic beans
sway with their advice
hand over my control
to save my careless life

and my head aches
in an inaudible clutter
of falling cds off of ceilings
collapsing

and my ears ring from terror
of sounds i have never heard
but remind me so swiftly
of your last words

since they hurt
too

my eyes are caving in
for everything is too blurry
i should check myself out
since i'm always in a hurry

but who will arrive
if i oversleep
and my brain sweeps away
dream after dream

another tearful cry through a series of struggles
tugging my blanket into a cuddle
wriggled into a materialistic muddle
the simple struggle of feeling double

and i'm too sensitive for my own sake
a swift CD that will momentarily break
a phone screen you paid for
but never treat with the respect it deserves

a collection of jumbles
inside a journey jungle
of useless uses
of excruciating excuses
that'll never be used
unless i go to use them

and a book i forgot
on a shelf that disintegrated
into a thousand specs of me
terminated

but it's 2 am
so what will i do
if not stay awake

since nothing will lull me
nothing satiated
in the daydream i created
since my nightmares were intoxicated

with you

and your promise

of a thousand years

if only you were honest

but i should've been on it
your lies are your bullets
since you don't even shoot them
the silent seeker
pained redeemer

a thank you
a please
beg on your knees

a blindfold
a curse
i gave me the worse

so look into my eyes
the next time you lie
and speak to me dearly
since i apparently cannot see clearly

02:34 23/11/2018