Donghyuck remained sitting there, practically on Mark's lap for a minute more. Then he got pushed away.
Mark got up, not looking at him, holding his hand to his forehead, and trying to understand the situation.
Donghyuck dropt his gaze, realizing in what kind of situation he put himself into. He had no idea what Mark may or may not do now that he knew.
Mark collapsed on the couch and started laughing and Donghyuck looked up, startled. Mark made no explanation, just laughed like a manic. He then got up and pointed an accusing finger at Donghyuck's face, making the smaller guy jump.
"You really expect me to believe this, huh? You think I'm that stupid don't you. This is one of your games isn't it? It always was, you were never even trying to kill yourself in the first place, you were just putting on a show. I'm sick of you and your stupid games!" Mark growled, grabbing Donghyuck by his shirt.
"It's not a game Mark, I swear it's not. Do you really- "
"Do you really think I would believe that you love me?" Mark said, shaking the younger.
"You ruined my life you damn fucker. You think that after all you've done I would believe in something as stupid as that! You sent gangs after me, slashed me and got me arrested! I crashed the whole damn town because of you and you think that I will just believe that you love me!" Mark yelled, slapping Donghyuck's cheek to the side.
"I…"
"I don't care what you have to say. I have no idea what kind of sick joke is this but I'm over with it" he ripped the tape off of Donghyuck's arms and legs,
"I really should kill you, but as I said before, I don't want your disgusting blood on my hands. You aren't even worth a bother"
Mark grabbed a stunned Donghyuck by the back of his jacket, carrying him out like a cat. Donghyuck looked like a cat right then and there.
A lonely, miserable, and confused cat. He winced when Mark literally threw him out of the door, cursing at him all over.
"Go home, and if you know what's good for you stay there. I don't ever want to see your face again!"
The door was shut close with a bang and Donghyuck found himself on verge of tears.
He chuckled though, he chuckled because he actually thought that Mark was going to forgive him for being a monster and that Mark was going to kiss and love him back and that everything is going to end like in some children's fairy tale.
Who would say that he, Lee Donghyuck, was a sucker for happy endings?
The people started coming out of their apartments, attracted by ruckuses like dogs to fresh meat. People just loved this sort of things, they made a lovely gossip starter.
Donghyuck gritted his teeth, realizing how he must look, being kicked out of the apartment by his mortal enemy who was also his hidden love. People started to whisper and Donghyuck hated when people whispered.
It was so hauntingly familiar, he thought, as chuckles and laughs of the demons he was fascinated with pierced his shield.
What right did they have to do this to him? To deprive him of love like they did? Was he not a human too? Was he unworthy of compassion? They did this to him, they turned him into this, it was their fault.
He never wanted to be a monster.
He just wanted to be loved.
Was it so hard for someone to come and love him for what he was?
He felt depression eating away his heart again as he got up and slid away from the scene. However, this time he felt like suicide won't solve anything. He owed to Mark to stay alive and explain some things when the older guy was calmer.
He hates himself right now, for he knew that Mark was right. How could he claim that he loved him after everything that he had done? He really didn't deserve Mark, either.
Mark was generally good person, except if you made him mad. Donghyuck was the monster, not Mark. Donghyuck ruined Mark's life, while trying to get close to him.
Donghyuck was the monster.
Donghyuck loved by destroying.
"I'm the monster" he made himself realize that as tears threatened to escape.
He blinked them away, refusing to cry in front of everybody as he walked and whispered his redemption mantra; "I'm the monster, I'm the monster, I'm the monster…"
He realized that he had no where to go. He didn't lie to Mark when he said that he sold his apartment or that he transferred his money. He really did thought that he would be dead by now, but now he didn't even had enough will to die.
He was truly pathetic.
If he was one of his people, he would despise himself.
He already despised himself, though.
He thought about where he could go, for he needed to rest and clear up his head. His parents house was out of the question, he wasn't welcome there anymore…he didn't blame them for that.
He supposed there was always Jaemin but he wasn't in the mood for thousand questions Jaemin would ask or disgusted glances that Jeno would give him.
Right now he needed comfort and a safe place where he would feel secured, no matter how hard something like that came to him. There was only one other place in his mind, only one other person he knew as a friend besides from Jaemin.
Yukhei did always say that he can come to him if he decides to give up on the path he was walking on right now.
His phone rang and he wasn't surprised when he saw Jaehyun's number on it. His gaze turned indifferent as he dropt the phone on the ground and stomped it dead.
Yes, he was certainly done with that life.
He never wanted it anywise.
He only looked to be loved, appreciated. He wanted to belong.
He eyed the corpses of his phone and kicked it down the street for a good measure, before continuing on to go to the Chinese Dumpling;
The only place he was ever truly welcomed and the only place where he felt like home.
