Don't Leave Me -DISCONTINUED/READ NEWEST CHAPTER-

Living in the New World, Stuck in the Old One

Today wasn't going to be a good day. 

I knew it from the moment I opened my eyes. 

The pain that engulfed my legs made the pain my jaw seem like nothing. 

Tears sprung into my eyes when I woke up and I choke on pain that fills my body. 

I go to stand up but as soon as my bare feet hit the wooden floor, I collapse, my body bouncing as it hits the floor with a loud thud. 

The door opens, it was Carl who had come to check on me. 

"Dru? My god, Andrew!" Carl rushes to my side, pulling me to his lap. "What happened? Are you okay? Are you hurt?" 

"It hurts!" I cry, the salt from my tears burning my mouth which results in more tears. 

It doesn't take much for Carl to pull me into his arms, standing up. He carries me down the stairs. 

He was tasked with babysitting me because there wasn't really school anymore. Not since Jesse and her sons died. 

Olivia was watching over Judith. They hung out on the pantry. 

Everyone had a job except me. 

Carl's lightly jogging down the street, jostling me in my pajamas. 

"You're really warm." Carl comments as he pushes open the doors to the infirmary. 

Denise was in there. She knew all about me after I practically told her my life story. 

I was running a fever of 103. She gave me some pain medication and sponged me off with cold water while Carl went to get Ma. Daddy was out on a run.

I really thought that I was growing out of this. I was almost nine! 

I think.

I can never tell how many years have gone by. 

Maybe I was ten. Or eleven. I'm not sure of time anymore. 

Carl was four years older than me. If he knew how old he was, then I could subtract four. 

Ma enters the room and hurries to my side. She's seen me like this a few times. The worst was at the barn. I remember cuddling with Beth in her room, Patricia making me warm milk. 

I hold my arms out to her, silently begging for a cuddle. 

Maggie takes me into her arms, sitting on the bed and moving me into her lap so that I can rest against her chest. 

I close my eyes and try to imagine mama like this. 

Mama would never of done this. 

Mama loved me. She took me out of the closet and she protected me from pa but she never showed me affection. 

"Andrew?" Maggie cups my cheeks with her hands. "You're crying." 

The words fall from my mouth before I can stop them. "Please don't leave me." 

"I'll never, ever leave you Ducky." Maggie promises, pressing a kiss into my hair. "I love you so much." 

I grab a fistful of her jacket, trying to stop the sob that escapes my mouth. 

Mama never told me that she loved me. Pa either. 

Andrea and Amy made sure to tell me every day. Even Sandra and Tabitha and they were just Andrea's roommates. 

"It's okay." Maggie promises. "We'll be okay." 

Then it hits me like a train. 

We're living in the new world. 

And I'm stuck in the old one. 

I'm not that crybaby, little boy that they first met who constantly whined and sniveled. 

I know how to use a gun. 

I've killed. 

"Hey, Ma." I mumble. 

Maggie hums in acknowledgement. 

"Can we cut my hair?" I think of my hair that is reaching my lower back now. I haven't cut it since the beginning.

Maggie looks down at me. "You love your hair. Why do you want to cut it?" 

"Because..." I mumble. "Even though Amy liked my long hair, she won't ever see it. It's getting hard to manage and walkers can grab it." 

Maggie looks conflicted for a few minutes. "Are you sure you want to cut it?" 

"Positive." This was the first step to stop living in the past. I can hold onto my sisters memories and I can miss them but I have to let go. 

Everyone related to me by blood is dead. Mama, Pa, Andrea, Amy. 

And although it hurts, the pain lessens. 

"Okay. As soon as your fever breaks, I'll see if I can find some scissors. I don't wanna cut your hair with a knife." Maggie promises. 

I sit up straighter, turning in Maggie's arms to look at her. 

I lean over and press my best kiss to her cheek with what lips I have left. 

"I love you, Ma." 

Oh my god. I haven't updated in forever. I need some help getting back into it. I need some ideas. I do have a plan to reintroduce his parents but that's in the way future and I don't want to put a huge timeskip. 

Thoughts? Ideas?

~C.