Them

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I was clingy.

Not the wanting attention clingy but the koala attached to your back clingy. 

I wanted to stick at their side because if they went, I wanted to go too. 

I mostly stuck to Maggie's side, thumb firmly planted in my mouth. Glenn told me off for it but he didn't do anything about it. 

We kept on moving but I was always holding someone's hand or being held. I was scared.
Scared of being left behind.

Scared of death. 

Scared of being alone.  

And despite the constant squeezes that Maggie would give my hand, I didn't feel any better.
Any time I heard moans, I wanted to run the other way. But the grown ups wanted to kill it. 

They always did.

I overheard the grown ups one night when they though Carl and I were sleeping. They wanted to have me learn to shoot. 

I didn't want a gun. 

Pa had a gun. He kept it under his bed. 

Maybe Carl wanted to grow up fast and learn how to shoot, but I didn't. I wanted to stay little. 

But I was growing up. I was already nine despite my stature of a six year old. 

My mouth was dry and legs aching as I trudged on. 

"No more, Ma." I tug on Maggie's shirt. 

"You just started walking." Maggie retorts. 

"I'm tired." I whine. 

"Just a little longer." Maggie tells me, pulling on my hand to move me along.

I let my hands slip out of hers and she lets me, probably thinking that I was going to hold Glenn's who was a few feet away. The pain in my legs were too much and I began to silently cry. 

Finally, I reached the end of the group and I grab onto Abraham's shirt. 

"Please, up?" I was too tired to do much else even though it sounded childish. 

Abraham looks down at me and I don't know if it was the worn down look on my face of the blotchy color in my cheeks from crying but he lets out a sigh and holsters his gun and bends down. 

He hoists me onto his shoulders and my feet cry in relief. 

I rest my head on top of his and let out an audible sigh of relief.  

"You good, buddy?" Abraham questioned. 

"Yeah. Thank you." I mutter. 

"Are you in any pain?" He questioned. 

"A little." I lie. 

I move my head to lay on his and close my eyes. 

 

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