Cold

Sleep.

That night I didn't sleep.

I heard Eric's soft breath to distract myself from the pain I felt.Both physical and mental.
The soreness was still there and it didn't let me sleep,but the mental battle inside me from what i've done was worse.
I had given Eric something so precious without a second thought and I knew what that meant.He had power over me and he knew it.I would always remember him and his touch.

I turned myself to look at Eric.
He hadn't bothered tos hug me or try to make me feel comfortable,probably because he never had to do it in the past.
He slept peacefully on his back,his lips slightly parted and his hand rested on his toned stomach.

He was beautiful.No matter what I told myself.But he was also cruel and I couldn't just past that.

I ignored the pain and I tried to get up slowly so I wouldn't wake Eric up.

I got into the bathroom to find my clothes but a voice stopped me.

"Come here Adelane."He ordered.

I sighed deeply and I slowly walked back in.

"I just need to go back to the dorms in a few hours I'll have to wake up." my hands instantly tried to cover my breasts but Eric,equally naked,walked over me and pulled my hands away.

"Go back to sleep.I'll wake you up when the time comes." his hands grabbed my wrists but not too painful.

"I can't sleep.." I confessed.

Eric raised his pierced eyebrow.
"You hurt?"

I nodded and Eric picked me up once more and sat me down in bed,lying beside me.

"It's not just the pain."it wasn't a question.

I kept my back at him,fully aware that he had a perfect view of my scars.

"You are the only one,who has ever seen them." I whispered.

"It's not that,that bothers you.You are ashamed." Eric was like he read my mind.

"I am afraid of what will happen next." I found myself saying.I was very honest with him.

I didn't hear Eric's answer but I did feel his lips touching my back.
I gasped realising what he did.
He left small kisses over my scars.

A tear left my eyes.Why was he doing that?Why didn't he just threw me away like every other girl.This confused me even more and my feelings towards him were mixed,when they should have been of pure hatred.

"Eric." I said "I want this to be over tonight." I breathed.
Eric stopped kissing me and grabbed my arms with both hands rather hard,but he didn't make an attempt to turn me around.

When he didn't speak I continued.
"You can do everything you want tonight.But that's it.I can't do this anymore."

He chuckled and tightened his grip.
"It doesn't work like that Adelane."

I sobbed silently,praying he couldn't tell.

"Adelane,Adelane,Adelane you will come here tomorrow night again and every night I tell you.Why you shouldn't?You enjoyed yourself."

This time I turned around to look at him.

"I hurt more than I enjoy it.You weren't gentle." I spat at him with as much as confident I could master.

"I was as gentle as I could.It's normal to hurt." I was surprised at how calm he was.

Eric knew exactly why I was afraid.He knew I didn't want to get attached to him.

He pulled me back so that I was lying on top of his chest and he put a hand around my waist.
"Sleep Adelane." he murmured.

I tried and tried but sleep never came that night.