Cold

Bad Feeling

"I loved you inspite of deep fears that the world would divide us"

Tobias came a few minutes after I had walked in to check on me.He asked where Eric was and why he hadn't stayed with me.I wouldn't tell him anything of course.I simply said I had decided to end it.
He looked satisfied but a little confused.

I spent the night crying.Pathetic,I know but I didn't know what else to do.
I felt so numb and tired.

The next day the doctors decided I could leave.For some reason,I took a little time to get ready.I wanted someone to come into the room.Not Eric,just someone.I wanted someone else other than my brother to care for me.Only Eric had shown any interest and that was,as I had learned,fake.
I realized I had no friends.No one who would miss me if I died.

I bit my lip and walked into the dorms.
The tests would begin in a few minutes and I needed to gather myself and concentrate.I now know for sure,if Eric saw through my lies he ould kill me.

I took a shaky breath and walked towards the cafeteria.
When I stepped in all eyes fell on me.
I ignored everyone else beside Eric.My eyes fell on him.

I clenched my jaw and looked away quickly.
Then I saw Peter,Jane and the boy who had attacked me.
I was confused.
Why were they here?Why weren't they punished??

I looked terrified around me and I saw Eric staring at me across the room.

"Why are they still here?" I said pointing a shaky finger towards the three of them.

Only the one boy seemed to feel any regrets.The other two giggled like nothing had happened.

I knew I shouldn't draw attention to me,but I just couldn't help myself.

Eric looked calmly at me.
"We can't afford throwing away good soldiers,initiate.For whatever reason."

I stared at Eric with my mouth open.I couldn't fathom the words that came from his mouth.I couldn't understand.

I felt a tear running down my cheek but I ignored it.
"They tried to kill me..I don't understand.I could have died." my voice came out so defeated and weak I hated myself for it.

Eric's eyes remained cold.
"Well you didn't.Get over it."

"I told you,you were just his fuck toy."Peter said quietly but I had heard him.

I ignored Peter and walked over to Eric.I didn't think it twice as I slapped him across the face,for a second time.

The whole cafeteria fell silent.
Eric looked at me with a stare I couldn't quite describe.He looked at me like I was the most worthless thing,he had ever layer eyes on.
I couldn't believe I had given this man my innocence.

His hands found my throat and next thing I knew was Eric choking me.
He did as much as he should to not kill me but hurt me.

"If you ever do that again,I will make sure you die a very painful death." he whispered.

I didn't show any kind of pain.I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.I felt disgusted by his touch.

"Get.Your.Fucking.Hands.OFF ME." I yelled.

Eric released me and grinned,devilishly at me.
"Good luck,today initiate."

Fuck.

I stared at him.He can't know.Not yet.Unless Tori has spoken to him,which I find impossible.He's just trying to scare me.

I gave him the middle finger and turned around to leave.

"In my office after the tests,initiate.We have a lot of talking to do."I heard him saying as I walked out.

I didn't turn nor did I respond.

I decided it was for the best to wait for the tests to begin.So I went to the room we were supposed to wait.
I was,of course,alone.Something I had gotten used to.
No friends.

After a few minutes people started to gather up.I waited patiently for Tobias to call our names and get over this.I told myself that if I made through this alive I would make sure to be as far away from Eric as i could.
My heart ached at the thought of him.I couldn't believe his eyes could turn any colder,but as he spoke back to me to the cafeteria,I finally saw Eric for who he was.I saw what Tobias had tried to warn me about.
I should had listen.

The door in the room opened and everyone fell silent.Across the room I saw Tris following my brother with her eyes.
I envied their relationship.

A few seconds later Eric came in.
The air between him and my brother seemed even colder and I immediately knew Tobias had found out.

"Listen initiates.This is the last part of initiation so be careful."Eric spoke looking everyone but me.
"Tobias will do the tests and I will watch.I don't forgive and I am a hard judge so be careful."

No one was shocked but everyone seemed uncomfortable with Eric being present.Me,I was actually terrified,and so was Tris.

"Adelane.You are first."Eric called looking at me for the first time.His eyes told me I would pay for what I had done,as soon as possible.

I got up and slowly walked inside another,smaller room.
There was a big chair along with a machine.
I took the hint and sat down.
Eric stood beside me and Tobias went behind the machine.

"We will inject you with a serum,as the one you had in your Apptitude test."Tobias explained,even though I already knew.I listened carefully,trying to ignore the present of Eric beside me and his warmth.

"Once you will be injected,you will go through your fears."

I nodded and closed my eyes taking a deep breath.

Tobias nodded back.
"Eric,inject her."

"Could you do it?" I couldn't stop myself from pleading my brother.
I didn't want to feel Eric's touch again.

Eric seemed even more eager to do it and grabbed the needle,ignoring my protests.

I wasn't shocked when he roughly pulled my hair and injected me with the needle.

For some reason I started shaking lightly,out of fear I supposed.

Eric quickly pinned me down and looked down at me.
I felt a tear escaping my eye and the last thing I saw as I faded was Eric's beautiful but harsh face,smirking like the devil down at me.

And then darkness.