23 ~ Bad Luck Max

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(BASED OFF OF CSI: CRIME SCENE INVESTIGATION)

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There was a man named Max who had terrible luck; when Max was born his mother died shortly after. This left him living with only his father.

When Max was 11 he went to visit his grandfather in a home. He laid back in the rocking chair and took a nap. However, the rocking chair was cutting off air from going through the tube from the oxygen tank to his grandma. She died and Max wasn't charged.

Years later, Max married and had a daughter. For his daughter's eighth birthday he got her a puppy. The next day Max was backing up the driveway to go to work... And ran over his daughter. She couldn't walk right after that.

On into Max's retirement, and his marriage wasn't doing too well. He and his wife would often bump heads– literally. One morning when moving a glass bowl of green Jell-O from the fridge, Max dropped the bowl and it shattered. At the same time Max and his wife crouched down, bumping heads.

Suddenly, the toaster started smoking. The wife had abandoned her toast for too long, and the smoke alarm went off. While holding a piece of glass, Max shot up in surprise to see what was smoking; in doing so, he stabbed his wife in the heart.

Max slowly dropped the piece of glass and looked out the window. His old neighbor quickly dodged the window in her house, right beside Max's. Max closed the curtains. To be sure she didn't see anything, Max went over to her house to see how she acted.

Max asked to borrow a bit of sugar, for he couldn't drink his morning coffee without sugar! The old lady quickly ran into the kitchen while Max stood in the doorway. Slowly he glanced over at a mirror in the living room and saw why she was so quick to leave him: there was blood on his white shirt.

Max chased the old lady, claiming it wasn't what it looked like. When chasing the neighbor, he lost his balance and ran into the neighbor. The old lady rammed against the wall, into the landline, and fell onto the floor: she was dead.

Max really didn't need anymore deaths on his record, so stuffed the top half of the woman in the oven. He turned it on. Hopefully it would look like a suicide.

Max went about hiding body business after that, wrapping his late wife in a rug and stuffing her – and his bloody clothes – in the trunk. He drove out to a secluded area to give her a short burial; it was the least he could do.

However, Max had car trouble. He grabbed a homeless-shopping-cart from a little posse of houseless, and out the body in there. Pushing the cart to the edge of the just-built-sidewalk, Max picked up the body and carried it over a board over to the next segment of sidewalk.

Of course, Max's luck kicked in. The other sidewalk was still wet cement, and both him and the body sank – stuck. Hours later, a punk came along, and stole Max's wallet.

Not too long after that Max was charged with murder.

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