33 ~ When Charlie is Away...

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I hate it when my brother, Charlie, has to go away.

My parents try to explain to me how sick he is. That I'm lucky to have all the chemicals in my brain flowing to correct destinations. When I complain about how bored I am without my little brother to play with, my parents point out how Charlie probably gets more bored than I do. Being stuck in a dark room in some institution is more boring than playing with toys or outside all alone.

I always beg my parents to let Charlie come home, to give him one last chance. Of course, they did. At first. Several times, with each duration of home-time shorter than the last. Every time without fail, it starts again.

The neighborhood cats showing up in his toy chest with their eyes gouged out, my dad's razors dropped on the baby slide at the park across the street, mom's vitamins replaced with bits of dishwasher tablets. My parents have become more hesitant, using what's left of Charlie's "last chances" sparingly.

They say his disorder makes him charming, making it easy to fool others into thinking he was normal. They fear he'll do this to the doctors so that they'll believe that he's ready for rehabilitation. That I will just have to put up with my boredom if it means staying safe from him.

I hate when Charlie is away. That means I have to act like a good kid until he gets back.

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