Your voice: so far away (completed)

3. Amy

I felt horrible when Chris called me. I didn't want to pick up the phone. I knew that as soon as I heard his voice a wave of guilt would hit me and I knew I would regret ever writing that note. But as soon as I picked up the phone I could hear Chris breathing heavily. I knew that he had just read the note and I could tell he felt hurt. I tried to tell him that I never should have written that note but I knew that no matter what I said he wouldn't forgive me straight away. And then he told me he was sick. At first I thought he meant he was sick of having fights about the same petty little things. Then I thought about it some more and I thought maybe he had a cold or something. But then I figured out what he actually meant by the fact he was sick.

I don't think I've ever felt so scared before in my life. I'd broken his heart and he had been dealing with so much already I can't even begin to imagine how he must be feeling. No wonder he had been so distant lately. He had been trying to protect me and now I've lost the person I love the most.

I tried calling Chris again and again but every time I would just get his voice mail. So I tried to text him over and over again trying to apologise and tell him I was sorry but even as I was typing I already knew Chris wasn't going to reply. But I couldn't give up. I needed to fix the mess I've made no matter how long it takes.

* Chris's POV *

I was to tired and confused to do anything so I just stayed in my room for the day. I switched the light off and closed the curtains and went back to bed since it was 6am. I stayed in my bed for the rest of the day. My sister came in and brought me something to eat for breakfast. She wanted to know what was wrong so I just made something up and told her I was ill. I could tell she wasn't fully convinced but she didn't want to say anything so instead she left and let me 'rest'.

I couldn't think straight so instead I would just try to catch up on some of my sleep because I hadn't had a decent night sleep since Amy left. My parents would check in on me but I would usually be pretending that I was asleep and my sister would bring me something to eat and something to drink but apart from that I just had a quiet day not really doing anything.

Amy's sketchbook was still on the floor but I kicked it under my bed slightly so no one would see. My phone was still in my bedside table draw so that I wouldn't be tempted to text or call anyone. I just wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now. Nothing they could say or do was going to change anything.

* Cat's POV *

I knew something was up with Chris because he wasn't eating very much and he looked completely worn out. I haven't seen him like this since just after the accident he was in that mad him lose his hearing. I remember because he wouldn't sleep and he would go out without telling anyone where he was going and he would come back late at night once everyone had gone to sleep. Then the only time we actually did see him was when he was in bed and was feeling down and he didn't want to do much. I hate seeing my brother like this, it makes me feel as if I've failed in protecting him. I know I can't protect him from everything I just wish I could protect him from things that effect him like this.

I went into his room to give him something to eat because it was dinner but he was asleep so I left his food on his bedside table. Then I suddenly heard a buzzing noise coming from one of the draws. It sounded like his phone at first I thought nothing of it and turned away but then it went again and again and again. It was obvious that someone wanted to get to him but then maybe they might be the reason he's acting like this. I had to fight the urge to look at his phone and find out what had happened. But I had to respect his privacy so instead of getting his phone out of the draw I turned round and walked slowly to the door.

As I reached for the door handle when I heard Chris move. I froze and stayed absolutely still so that he hopefully wouldn't suspect anything until I realised that by staying still I was actually making myself look even more guilty and suspicious then I actually was. Then once I thought Chris was asleep again I started making my way through the door.
" fighting the urge to look at my phone. That's new." Chris said. His eyes were still closed and I felt like a complete fool. I walked over to the other side of his bed and laid on top of the covers so that I was facing him. I grabbed some paper an 2 pens from his bedside table and looked at Chris. He opened one of his eyes and the saw what I was doing and tried to close his eyes again. I hit him with the paper and her opened his eyes and gave me a look as if to say really your gonna hit me with paper like your 5 but it made me laugh which made Chris smile weakly. I started writing on one of the pieces of paper and handed Chris a pen.

Cat- what happened?
Chris- nothing.
I hit him with the paper again and he rolled his eyes at me.
Chris- seriously.
Cat- if you don't want it to happen then don't lie.
Chris- its hard to explain.
Cat- you can trust me Chris.
Chris- I know its just...
Cat- just what?

Chris let out a long sigh before turning over and opening his bedside table draw and turned over to face me and handed me his phone.
" Read them. Just don't tell me what they say." I nodded and patted his hand and gave him a small smile before clearing up all of the paper and pens and then leaving him to be alone. Then once I read only a few of the text I was speechless. I couldn't believe what I was reading. It all made sense now why Chris was acting so strange.

I decided that I wasn't going to get in the middle of it because every time I had tried it had either failed or it had made me and my brother fall out again. I can't lose his trust again. But then I still need to tell him what I've been hiding but now not the best time but I cant hide it from him for much longer.