Your voice: so far away (completed)

9. Amy

As soon as I got home I went to my room and got changed. I then looked up the hotel Chris was staying at and I found out that it wasn't actually that far away from here. So I gave it a few minutes before I left. The streets were busy just like they always were and the roads were busy too. It didn't take long until I could see the hotel. It was actually a really nice hotel with lots of room. Then once I finally managed to find Chris's room I knocked on the door and waited nervously. Then Chris opened the door and greeted me with a friendly smile. I smiled back at him as he opened the door wider to let me in.
" Nice room." I said looking around the room.
" So what do you do in the city then?" Chris asked and I turned round to face him.
" Honestly I have no clue." We both laughed when I said this.
" I guess we'll just have to be clueless together then." Chris said. I laughed and Chris smiled.

We went for a walk in the park that was round the corner. We talked most of the time and I would usually keep the conversation on Chris so that I wouldn't have to tell him what I've been doing since I moved here. I could tell that Chris knew what I was doing but he must have known not to bring it up just yet. We sat down on a near by bench and I could see that something was bothering Chris.
" What's wrong?" I asked and he looked up at me and gave me a weak smile.
" Nothing." He lied.
" Seriously, What's wrong?" I said and he gave me a confused look which made me slightly nervous. "What?" I said nervously. He let out a small sigh and looked away.
" You've changed so much and I cant figure out what's going on with you anymore. Its almost as if I'm talking to a stranger." He looked back at me and I lowered my head slightly and looked at my hands. He was right I had changed but for better or for worse. " But I don't want you to be like a stranger to me Amy its just...." I could see that Chris was lost for words. I looked back at him and gave him a small smile and then I looked back down at my hands. I started fiddling with my bracelets and then I stopped and looked at one bracelet in particular. It was one that I'd had since I was little and when I was still living on the farm. I took it off my wrist and placed it in Chris's hand and closed his hand around it. I could see that he was confused and I looked at him and gave him another small smile and explained.
" So that you don't forget the Amy you did know and love. The one who didn't leave you without an answer and the one who could make you happy and laugh and do the craziest things." He looked at the bracelet in his hand and then back at me.

Then we walked back to the hotel but neither of us said anything. Then at the door we said goodbye and turned our backs on each other. I turned round and called Chris's name and he turned to look at me.
" I just thought you should know that the Amy you knew she never stopped loving you." He stood there thinking and then as I turned away he said:
" And I never stopped loving her." I couldn't turn round to face him so I waited to hear the door close before I started walking again. I didn't go home straight away. I decided to go for a walk. I needed to think about everything that had just happened.

What did Chris mean by he never stopped loving the old me? Dose he still love me or was he just saying that? Why did I have to change. If I'd just stayed the same and had stayed true to myself than maybe my friends wouldn't be mad at me and me and my family would be able to have an actual conversation. But its too late. Ive changed and I don't know if I can change back to the me that I actually liked. The confident and strong girl who had great friends and a great family. He girl who didn't have to hide and was always happy. What changed?

I did this to myself maybe theres a way to undo what Ive done. But what difference would it make, I'd still be the same girl at school who no one likes and I'll still be miles away from my friends. When did this all get so confusing?

Then after a few hours of thinking I decided it was time to go home. I walked through the door and closed it behind me rather than slamming it like I'd been doing a lot lately. I could see my parents and Luke trying to figure out what I was doing. I went to my bedroom but stopped outside the door. I placed my hand on the handle but I didn't open the door. Instead I let go of the door handle and walked over to my parents. I gave them both a tight hug and then nervously walked back to my room and closed the door behind me.

The next day I walked to school with Luke. We talked and had some fun which was nice. Then once we were at school Luke went off and met up with a bunch of his mates and I walked over to the wall and put my earphones in. I knew I wasn't going to change back to the old me instantly but I knew that if I started with just some of the small things then I might be able to become the old me again.

Then when I saw Jules and her friends walking towards me. They stopped just in front of me and then just as Jules was about to say something I walked away. I saw the bus that Chris, Sarah and Abbie were on pull up in front of the school. They all got off and I walked past the gate with Jules following me. I still had my earphones in but I'd hidden them behind my hair which was down for the first time during school since I came here. Then just as Jules was about to catch up with me the bell rang and I gave her a smile and then turned and walked inside. She was so angry and annoyed that it was worth every second of walking round the courtyard with her following me.

Then it rained at break so everyone stayed inside whilst I stayed outside in the rain with a few other people. Most of them were from my old school but there were also a few students from this school as well. Then at lunch Jules tried to get under my skin again but this time instead of walking away from her I ran into the canteen and jumped up onto one of the tables. At first everyone seemed confused and a few even seemed a bit annoyed but then when Jules came bursting through the door I ran across the tables and everyone broke out into laughter.
" Catch me if you can." I said playfully as Jules chased after me.
" Ugh come back here!" Jules was starting to get annoyed which made everyone laugh even more. Then when Jules had had enough she climbed onto one of the tables and ran after me. I jumped off the table and ran across the canteen and jumped onto another table. This carried on for half an hour or so until the headteacher came in and me and Jules both jumped off of the tables and ran out the door. The teachers chased us outside where it was still raining so they caught Jules first when she stopped at the door.

I carried on running because I found it funny and entertaining. I saw everyone watching from the canteen windows. They were all laughing as the teachers failed to catch me and kept slipping. The rain got heavier and more teachers had come outside so it became even harder to dodge them. So then when I found an opening I ran back inside. I was soaked and I kept slipping but I managed to keep my balance. I ran back through the canteen doors and through the doors on the opposite side of the canteen. But then there was a group of teachers waiting for me behind the doors so I almost fell over as I quickly turned round and ran back into the canteen. Then the teachers finally managed to catch up with me and they all looked pleased.
" What on earth were you thinking. Do you know how many rules you've broken?!" The headteacher yelled. I nodded and he looked shocked at my reply. Everyone was still watching us because we were stood in the middle of the canteen.
" None. I haven't broken a single rule." I said and the headteacher was furious.
" you've caused a scene in the middle of the canteen...." I cut him off and corrected him.
" I wouldn't call running from a bully a scene and any scene that was created was probably you lot either chasing me or yelling at me in the middle of the canteen." I could see the headteachers frustration building.
" Then how about not listening to a teacher when..." I cut him off again just cause it was fun.
" That's not actually a rule." This went on for a few more minutes until the headteacher realised that I actually hadn't broken any of the schools rules and the teachers let me go. Then when the bell went it didn't take long before I was taken into the classroom that all of the students from my old school were in.

They all looked at me as I was taken to the back of the classroom and sat down in the same seat I was always in. The class started whispering and some were even quietly laughing. The teacher then got all of their attention and carried on with the lesson.