Your voice: so far away (completed)

22. Chris

Its been strange not talking to Amy for a while. I feel like I've missed so much but then I would have had the same problem with my family. Most days that I spent with my family were mainly us either sat at home doing nothing or going out and looking for a nearby house for my sister, her boyfriend and their new baby boy to live as a family. If I'm honest I'm kind of relieved because all thought I cant hear the baby screaming at night I can feel everyone's tried, heavy footsteps as they make their way along the hallway to the nursery. And at least then I wont be stuck to look after the baby when everyone else is out and I don't have a clue how to look after him. I'm probably the worst babysitter you could ever have, I don't have a clue what I'm doing and I have to be sat looking directly at the baby just to know if their making a noise, also not helped by the fact that I have a very short attention span and often forget what I'm doing.

Today's really my first day out the house away from my family. I mean their great and all and we're getting along better but I still need a break or two now and then. Plus no theres a lot more sticking together since my dad started taking his week long business trips across the world. So its a relief to finally be out of the house for a while.

I told Amy to meet me down by the beach in the spot that no one ever goes. No one really knows why no one goes there, they just don't. The sun dances on the waves at sunlight and its one of Amy's favourite places. She says that theres something about that spot on the beach that makes her feel more at home then any other place in the neighbourhood. But I get it the place is just so beautiful its hard not to fall in love with it. But its also the best place to have a serious conversation or to let out the feelings you've been hiding for so long. I just hope this place doesn't end up being the place we break up.

I see Amy walking towards me. The wind is blowing through her hair as she walks. She has her swimsuit on with a kimono jacket flowing behind her. She has her sandals in one hand and her sunglasses in the other. I push myself up from the sand so I'm sat up leaning back on my arms for support. I smile at her and she smiles back and sits down next to me with her legs to her side.
" so why did you want to meet here?" She asks whilst tucking her hair behind her ears.
" I just wanted to see how you were. You know with everything thats going on..." I hesitate. I still cant bring myself to say the actual words. Amy clearly senses this and places her hand supportively on mine an looks me in the eye.
" You mean the operation."
" Yeah... that." She gives me a small smile.
" I'm not the one being operated on."
" Yeah but it still impacts your life..."
" Your worried about it aren't you?"
" Its just... theres so much riding on this operation... I don't want you to get hurt." My voice cracks slightly. I can see Amy trying to think of what to say next, she doesn't want to risk making it worse but she cant sit in silence knowing she could have said something.
" Don't think like that Chris. Your a fighter, I know you are. The only way I could be hurt is by you already giving up before it's even started. So when you get out of surgery I promise you, I'll be there. Right by your side." Hearing her say this makes me feel better and I cant help but smile a little.
" How do you do it?" She looks surprised by my response.
" How do I do what?" She laughs nervously as she tucks another loose strand behind her ear.
" how do you make even the worst seem positive?" She understands what I mean now.
" cause if I don't I have to watch those I love suffer, so I make it my job to find the positive in the negative. It doesn't always work but when it dose it's definitely a relief."

We carried on talking for a while before we decided to go for a swim and splash each other with as much water as we could trying to see who won. In he end we called it a tie and went back to where we had left all of our things and grabbed our towels to dry off. Then we stayed and sat on the beach and watched as the sun set and the water changed to match the colour as the sky. Then when the sun had completely set we walked back to Amy's holding each other's hand. Once we were at her door we kissed goodbye and I started my journey back to my house.

When I got back all the lights were off and everyone had already gone to bed. As I walked up the stairs I could feel each wooden stair creaking under my feet, something I've become very good at since my sister had her baby. Once I'm in my room I don't even bother switching the light on. My room is pitch black and I cant really see a thing. I can just about make out the outline of my bed. I fall back on my bed and lay there staring up at the ceiling. My eyesight slowly starts to adjust to the darkness and I can see a bit better. Everything's still a little fuzzy but I manage to get changed and find my way back to my bed without tripping (which is a first for me). Then almost instantly I'm asleep.