Your voice: so far away (completed)

5. Amy

When I woke up in the morning the sun was shining on my eyes and I could smell my Grandma's cooking. I got straight out of bed and rushed down the hall to the kitchen.
" I smell food." I said in a happy tone and both of my grandparents laughed.
" That's one way to wake her up." My granddad said in a joking tone which made us all laugh. We sat down at the table and started eating breakfast together.
" so why do you have a bandage round your hand?" I looked up at my grandparents who both looked very confused.
" Small little accident at school." My voice changed when I told them it had happened at school and I could tell they had both noticed. They both gave me a small smile and I could see that they understood why my voice had changed.
" tough being the new girl isn't it." My grandma said and I nodded.
" People aren't being mean to you are they?" I hesitated as my grandad asked me this.
" No... it was just a small mistake thats all." I swallowed hard and continued eating. We talked about something else for the rest of breakfast. Then once we had cleaned away all of the dishes my grandparents told me they needed to go into town to fetch somethings. I decided to stay at the house where there was less of a risk of running into Chris. They told me they had something coming from someone they knew who had borrowed something that they were returning to them and that they needed me to answer the door whilst they were out.

Then once they left I decided to do some digging around to see if there was anything that could keep me entertained whilst they were away. There was the obvious option of the tv but I decided to at least try and find something else to do before going to the tv to keep me entertained. There wasn't much downstairs except for my grandmas knitting. She had taught me how to do it but over the years I had forgotten. There wasn't much upstairs either. Then just as I was about to give up I noticed the attic. I pulled the door open and walked up the stairs.

It was dark and dusty and it looked as if no one had been up here in a while. There were boxes everywhere that were all open. I walked over to one of them and opened it in curiosity. Then when I opened it I saw all of my old sketchbooks and drawings. I opened one of them and I saw how much my drawing had changed. I looked around curious about what else I could find in these boxes.

One box had all of my baby things and photos. I looked through all of the photos and saw how much I had grown up since then. Then I found the family photo album. There were hundreds of photos in it. At the back of the photo album was where all of the photos of me were kept. There weren't any recent photos of me. I turned the page and found that the rest of the pages were completely blank. I reached into my pocket almost as if I was drawn to it and pulled out a photo of me and Chris. I had completely forgotten that it was there. I looked at our happy faces and had to hold back the tears. I placed the photo on one of the empty pages and looked at it for a while. I closed the photo album and wiped the tears from my eyes.

I heard a knock at the door and rushed down stairs to answer it. Then once I opened the door I couldn't move when I saw who it was. There stood right in front of me was CHRIS!!!! His eyes widened in shock when he saw me and I couldn't look him in the eye.
" My mum wanted me to return this." He handed me a box and I had no idea what was in it but I decided not to ask. His voice was emotionless almost as if he didn't feel a thing. I hated knowing that this is what I had done.
" Thanks." I said nervously. My voice was quiet and high pitched. I looked up at him but when his eyes met mine I quickly looked away. Then I saw as he noticed my hand which had been bandaged and I could see the confusion on his face. I hid my hand behind me and looked down at the ground.
" What happened?" I could hear the worry in his voice and it made my heart sink.
" School... it's nothing." I could feel the tears starting to build in my eyes as I fought the urge to fall into his arms and hope that would make everything better again, but deep down I knew it wouldn't change a thing.
" If it's nothing then why is your hand bandaged?" Chris said and it killed me how much he still cared about me after what I did. But what was worse was that I still cared about him as well.
" I was to busy daydreaming and cut my hand and then burnt it a little." I could see as Chris's expression changed from confused to worried.
" You okay?" He asked me but I continued to look down at the ground.
" I'm fine." I lied. " you?"
" Been better.... I mean..." I knew exactly what he meant and it was my fault.
" Its fine Chris your allowed to hate me. I understand." Then when he didn't speak for a while I said goodbye and closed the door. I fell back and hit the door hard and slid down it. I let the tears in my eyes run down my face as I ran my hand through my hair. I never should have come back here. This stopped being my home the day I left and maybe thats just how it was meant to be. Then once I heard Chris drive off I pulled myself up and walked back up to the attic. I hid in there for the rest of the day until my grandparents came back and we had dinner together. Then we all went straight to bed but I couldn't sleep. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get myself to fall asleep. So I grabbed my hoodie and snuck out for one of my late night walks.

It was cold and I couldn't help but shiver. The stars in the sky were shining bright but they weren't as bright as they used to be. I didn't focus on where I was going, I just kept walking. I kept my head low and didn't look up any other time except for when I had to cross the road. There were hardly any cars out and the roads were almost completely clear. It was the complete opposite to the city where the roads where endlessly busy and there was noise everywhere you went.

I hadn't realised where I was until I stopped right next to a lamppost. I looked up and saw that I had walked all the way to Chris's house. It had started to rain and I noticed that Chris's window was open. Thankfully his light was off so I started to make my way across the road. Then when I was on the other side of the road I looked over at Chris's house. I pulled my hoodie over my head as the rain got worse. Then just as I was about to continue walking I noticed that Chris's bedroom light had switched on. I couldn't move as Chris approached the window. I looked away hoping he wouldn't see me but then when I looked back I saw he was looking right at me. I didn't know what to do and it was clear he didn't know what to do either so I ran. I didn't mean to it was just the firsts thing that came to my mind. The rain got worse and I could barely see. I must have accidentally stepped on the road because I saw a bright light heading towards me. I quickly jumped out of the way and stumbled to the ground. I saw Chris still stood at his window he looked completely petrified and relieved at the same time. I found the pavement and sat there trying to catch my breath. My heart was pounding in my chest when I felt a buzz in my pocket. I took my phone out and saw that I had a text.

Chris- are you okay?!
I looked back at his window and I saw that Chris was sat on the window sill looking over at me with his phone in his hand.
Amy- I'm fine
Chris- your lying
Amy- I'm surprised you still care about me
Chris- why
Amy- Chris I broke your heart. Scream,yell be angry at me I deserve it.
Chris- don't say that
Amy- why its the truth. You deserve so much better.
Chris- thats not possible cause your the best.
Chris- what's wrong Amy? Your not dancing in the rain and your not smiling. Please just tell me.
Amy- but if I told you you'd think I was pathetic
Chris- I would never think that.
Amy- I'm miserable Chris alright. Being the new girl again is so hard and the cities so loud. But worst of all your not there.
Chris- then why did you break up with me.
Amy- I didn't want to drag you down with me. I thought it was better if you didn't have to deal with me and my stupid problems but instead I just made a mess of things.
Amy- I'm so sorry. You don't have to forgive me.
Chris- your problems aren't stupid.
Amy- it's okay you don't have to lie.
Chris- are you going to be okay.
Amy- I don't know

I looked back at Chris who was looking at me. His face was full of worry so I sent him one last text.
Amy- Chris I don't want to be the person who makes you worry or makes you sad or any of that. I have to go now. Goodbye Chris.
I saw as he read the text and when he looked back up I looked at him and I turned around and started to make my way back to my grandparents. When I got back it was really late and yet I still wasn't tired. Then I realised that there was a guitar on my bed that I hadn't left there. It had a note attached to it.
How about instead of sneaking out at night when you cant sleep you play your guitar. You loved to play it when you were little maybe you can fall back in love with it. Seems like you could do with a distraction. -grandad

I picked up the guitar and strummed it gently. It was just like how I remembered it. I had no idea if I could remember how to play it so I tried to remember the first song I ever learnt on my guitar. I could remember all of it. I felt happy when I played it and it distracted me long enough to make me sleepy so I carefully put it in the stand in the corner of my room and went to bed.