The Diary of The Happy girl

Chapter 21

June,30,2015

I have been blocked everyone since last friday including Elisa.
It's not that I don't like them or hate them, but I just don't want they to see how sick my soul inside.

Elisa and I, we were not in a good state. I guess.

It's because I tell her to back off when I suddenly cried in the classroom, I was thinking about what going to happen to my life soon.

And I knew, she's just trying to comforted and asking me what is it that bothering me so much.
But I, I being a bitch.

I tell her to shut up and back off.

The whole class was in silence when they heard me. Their attention was all directed to me.

Mr wilson was  also stop from talked in front of the class. He asked me what's wrong.

But I just, ignored him.           

I grab my bag and leaved the classroom.

I still can felt Elisa's hand on my right hand,
weakly. but I just walked away.

I don't bother to looked at everyone puzzled faces.
I just wanted to be alone.

Now, I felt bad because I hurt Elisa feelings. But I don't want to call her because she will have a reason to ask me what happens.

Knowing Elisa so well, she will easily accept my apologize.
but she one of the most curious girl I've ever met. So no, not now.

Mum words from 2 days before still freshly in my head.
"Be strong my girl, whatever the result may be, knowing that you always have us"
she said it with a tears in her eyes. Knowing mum she's the strongest women I've ever have in my life.

She wont cried easily.

So I do the right thing to comforted mum by hug her and tell her how much I am thankful to have her as my mother. She's our Supermum.

Since im young im always close with my mother.
we called her supermum because she was always there for us to help us through a lot of things in our life. Until today.

That's why I am who myself today.

About my father, he's not dead or leave us. He still here staying with us though.
But he is what you called a workaholic person.
His presence was rarely in this house .

I can count how many times I Saw him in a month. Sometimes he likes a stranger in this house. He rarely asked about 'us'.

the last time he asked about 'me' is "have I eaten?" That's when He come home late and he saw me  watching television in the living room because I can't slept, last year.

yeah, it's last year.

His story were always about his work, his colleagues and again... everything about his work.

I knew it's boring so that's why mum the only person who listened to his story while me and my siblings,
we do our own bussiness in our own room.

but whatever it is he still my father. I still respect him for he is my father, eventhough he rarely spoke with us.
He the one who work hard for our family. So he deserves our respect.

Mum always said he is our father everytime we complained about father to her.

But yeah, I can't hate my own father though. He still loves us. I know that.

Deep in his heart he still loves us.

Yeah I don't have a perfect family but I still thankful to god for what I have.

Woah! too much story about father today. I rarely tell someone about my father.
Well, because I really have nothing to tell about my father. Ouch.
   

~~~~~
   
About the result of last week appointment with the doctor, we will know about it 2 days later.

I knew how me and mum and maybe my father too was felt uneasy the whole week because of this matter. That's why mum suddenly said those thing to me.

I suddenly feel worry about my mum, and less worry about myself.

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Elisa pov:

I remember that day when suddenly Ria behaviour was changed. She's been ignored everyone including me.

She look paled and...dead inside.

I was shocked and panicked when I saw her eyes was full with tears in Mr.Wilson class that day.

I try to comforted her by patting her back and whispered the soothing words. I told her everything is going to be okay.
But she's kept cried and cried. I can sensed she trying to holding back the sobbed though.

So I asked her if there's something happen. Then, she suddenly changed and she tell me to shut the f*** up and backed off from her.

I don't know whats wrong with her. I realized everyone eyes was on her and she seem really pissed off then.

Because next I saw her grab her bag and walked away from the classroom.
I heard Mr.Wilson asked her what's wrong but she ignored him.

I grab her right hand softly but she just walked from...me.

The class was in silence, Everyone eyes was on her, on every step she took to leaved the classroom.

Im terrified watched her that day. I was confused because She never ever changed.