The Bible of Yoonseok Littlespace VER

♡bad thoughts♡

"daddy, the bad thoughts are back again."

this morning when hoseok had woken up, he knew his depression was going to be giving him a hard time today. he woke up with a headache and a heavy heart. for some reason he just felt so anxious and helpless. all he could do was snuggle and whimper into a sleeping yoongi's side and wish for the happiness to return.

later, when they woke up together, yoongi hadn't noticed anything wrong with the little. hoseok was trying to hide it from him, he didn't want him to worry. even after yoongi had dressed him in his duckling onesie and fed him his breakfast of banana and blueberry pancakes, he still felt sad. of course spending time with his daddy always made him happy, but that lingering sense of sadness was looming over him in the background.

yoongi did think it was strange that on saturday, his day off, hoseok wanted to sleep all day and watch movies. don't get him wrong, he loved when they had lazy days, but saturdays were when the little was always hyper and excited, wanting to go out and have an adventure.

but instead, the little was just lying around aimlessly watching tv or scribbling on some blank sheets of paper. obviously yoongi knew of hoseok's past with depression and thought that was what could possibly be the culprit for his strange mood.

after awhile of just laying on the couch the little was yawning frequently so yoongi decided he should just take a long nap tucked inside their bed. this was how hoseok ended up laying there wide awake, his mind running wild with dark thoughts due to the depression.

he was remembering things from his past. the bullying he went through for being gay in high school, his friends ditching him because he was different. then his brain was telling him other things; they were all right. everyone who said he was ugly and annoying was right.

he didn't deserve the friends he had now. he didn't deserve his daddy. he didn't deserve happiness.

his daddy always told him when he had these thoughts to tell him immediately. against his better judgement he had been hiding it, but now he couldn't take it anymore.

"that's what i was afraid of," yoongi sighed from his spot on the couch, "come here, baby buck," he stretched out his arms.

clutching his cow stuffie tightly to his chest, he ran and jumped into his daddy. he burrowed into his warmth and shoved his face into his neck. yoongi engulfed the little in his arms and began rubbing his back.

"why didn't you tell me, hoseok? you know daddy will always help you," yoongi murmured softly.

"i'm sorry," hoseok mumbled pulling away to look at his daddy with glassy eyes.

"don't cry, darling," yoongi cupped the little's cheek with one hand and brushed away a stray tear with his thumb.

hoseok clutched his daddy's hand to his face and breathed in his calming scent. he nuzzled into his palm and bit his lip to keep the tears from spilling. his daddy was so good to him. he knew he didn't deserve this man's love.

"i love you, daddy," his voice came out in a cracked whisper.

"i love you too, hoseok," he pulled the little into him and hugged him tightly, "don't ever forget that."

the little sighed and blinked away his tears. his daddy's warmth and kind words helped the bad thoughts fade away. he felt better; he should've told his daddy sooner.

"you want a snack, baby buck?"

hoseok nodded his head against his daddy's chest.

"strawberries or animal crackers?"

"... both?" he looked up and asked hopefully.

"sure, baby," yoongi smiled warmly.

while hoseok rested on his hip clung to his side, he grabbed a purple plastic bowl from the cupboard and filled it with strawberries from the fridge. then he grabbed another colored bowl and filled it with frosted animal crackers.

"sit here and i'll grab junior," he placed the little on the couch and rushed into their room.

he grabbed junior, ting-ting, bella the hippo, and yong the teddy bear. he grabbed a light blue fleece blanket from off the bed and ran back to the living room.

hoseok stretched out his arms and made grabby motions with his hands. yoongi placed the stuffie in his arms and sat next to him. he pulled the little to his side and dragged the blanket over them. he situated the snack bowls on their laps. hoseok turned to him with pouted lips.

yoongi leaned in and softly connected their lips. the little reached up a hand and placed his palm on his daddy's face to get a better angle. when yoongi pulled away and held the little's wrist and placed kisses on his palm all the way up his arm to his face until the little was giggling. he kissed all over his cheeks, forehead and nose.

he pulled away and placed one of the frosted biscuits to the little's lips with a smile. hoseok grinned back and munched happily on the treat.

"you wanna watch lion king?"

"that's my favorite, daddy!" hoseok gasped.

"i know, baby buck," yoongi grinned grabbing the remote and started searching for the movie.

as hoseok leaned into his daddy, surrounded by his plushies, being fed his snacks, watching his favorite movie, he felt the bubbly feeling of happiness return in his chest.