Wonderland Reviews And Covers [OPEN]

REVIEW: EMILY HARPER & THE 12TH WISH

Admin writing review: CHBlackk

Author: mahreen97

Title: Emily Harper & the 12th Wish

Genre: Fantasy

The Cover: 10/10

I honestly have no complaints about it. The cover is dazzling! It looks magical and it's very pulling. The cover is definitely a work of art and with its inviting ambience, it definitely makes your story extremely attractive! The text is just big enough even with the extra curves that add even more aesthetic to it. I love the subtext, it's a little faded and smaller and your author's name has a perfect setting on the cover!

The Description: 10/10

When you address the reader, asking them if they like magic, it's very inviting and intriguing. My first thought was: 'Hm, that's very Harry Potter-like' then I saw you were inspired by it. That's a good thing to write in a description, that's what tells the reader to know what they can expect from the story. The description tells us about Emily and how everything changes for her and all in all, it serves its purpose. 

The Plot: 9/10

It has wizardry, complex family, secrets, magic, the demanding council, all of the things that make a fantasy story truly extraordinary. I've read a lot of fantasy books, they're the genre ruling on my shelves, so I know what I'm talking about here. Maybe what I missed was some originality. Let's say grandma and cat actually taking the role of Hagrid and Midnight Express actually being Hogwarts Express. But I understand, you told us you were inspired by J. K. Rowling, so no pressure!

The Characters: 8/10

Readers don't get that much insight into characters. You were mostly describing what was going around the character, instead of how they felt about certain things. The POV you're writing in also has something to do with it, but there are still ways that you could bring the characters closer to the reader. However, characters are original, they still show signs of actually being realistic, though as I said, you should work on that. 

Grammar / Punctuation: 7/10

This is the part you really need to work on. I saw in the description you already have an editor, but there are still things that need to be fixed, especially in punctuation and placing quotation marks. Don't place a comma in the middle of two words, it's supposed to stick to the first. Quotation marks always stick to the words as well, it marks what part is spoken. You write it like this: " Emily, let's go. " When it should look like this: "Emily, let's go."

Advice & Overall Thoughts: 

I have no idea why you broke Prologue into two sections. The second half of the prologue is rather short, so I don't see why wouldn't you add it to the first one. A longer chapter is better than something confusing, so don't worry about giving your readers a scare will a couple of hundred words more than usual. They're readers, they came to read. My overall thoughts, though, I had no idea what to expect, but I fell in the story very easily, like Alice down the rabbit hole.