Wonderland Reviews And Covers [OPEN]

REVIEW: PRINCESS TO FULL-TIME QUEEN

Admin writing review: CHBlackk

Author: Steampunk-caravan

Title: Princess to Full-Time Queen

Genre: Fantasy

The Cover: 5/10

I'm so sorry I had to do this, but you need to change your cover. The girl on the picture is cute and fits Gene's description, however, the text is small and barely visible - both for the title and the author's name, which isn't very inviting. my mind nearly exploded when my mind imagined what kind of covers I could make with models that would fit the story. The biggest problem is actually the text, so when you fix that you'll be A-okay!

The Description: 7/10

It's short and simple. The reader finds out there will be princesses and probably some battles, so that's very good! But it does look a little empty. The description needs more plot, so readers see why your story is so much better than anything else, why is it so unique and why should they read it. It's just too simplistic. Adding a sentence or two or another character's name would definitely spice things up!

The Plot: 10/10

The plot is inviting, raising curiosity with every chapter and building tension. You could write the death of the King a little better, but even that of what you wrote is good, so whatever you do, will be great. The story doesn't stand still and it doesn't move too slowly. Personally, I don't like when things happen immediately in the first chapter, the pace you chose for your story was perfect in my opinion. 

The Characters: 10/10

What else do we want than a princess that is trying to rule the kingdom after throne fell to her by a shocking surprise on the battlefield? Readers don't like when someone is awesomely amazing good at everything and sassy and sexy and everything they do is the right thing to do! Gene is nothing like that. She's a teenager that wants to fantasize about boys and meet people wearing beautiful dresses and sit in the garden, not rule a kingdom, though she seems strong enough to do so. The character is full of diversity which makes her more likeable and realistic.

Grammar / Punctuation: 5/10

Please, don't take this personally, but this is a section you really need to take care of. In all three chapters, you kept jumping between tenses, past and present, which happen very frequently. Then the capitalization, names and surnames should be capitalized: Gene Moonfall, not Gene moonfall and as you did that to surnames, you capitalized a profession: actors, not Actors. Those/These indicate on plurality, so delete the 'was' and write 'were'. I also noticed an irregular verb 'shooked', it's just 'shook'. 

Advice & Overall Thoughts: 

Your story has an amazing potential. I can see this becoming something great, you just need to polish that diamond of your a little! Grammar is hard and stupid, I hate it too, but we all know Grammar nazis that try to make your life miserable. I was surprised by the pictures in the middle of your text. Nothing is wrong with it, but it's not used commonly. I don't know if that would bother people, but I'm perfectly cool with it.