Wonderland Reviews And Covers [OPEN]

REVIEW: AN EMBER BRIGHT

Admin writing review: CHBlackk

Author: ayo723

Title: An Ember Bright

Genre: Fantasy

The Cover: //

You told me the new cover is in the process of making so it would be kind of stupid of me to review this one since you've already told me how you feel about it and all. 

The Description: 9/10

 I liked the way the description flew. It was captivating and definitely hooked me. I was just a little put off by the look of it. It looks piled up and I think if you split it into three shorter paragraphs, it would look even more promising. But for what you tell us, it's really all the reader needs to know. I learnt it's most likely to be about Cara who is different than others and who is going to go through quite a few challenges. When I stopped reading it, I had a feeling I read something you usually see on the backs' of the published books. 

The Plot: 10/10

The plot, in my opinion, is a classic. A different girl, struggling to stay alive because she is not like everyone else. From what I've read it's pretty clear you'll take this book to a whole new level and even before you did that, I enjoyed the first three chapters you wrote. From all those, I could gather you've given this storyline a lot of thoughts and that is always appreciated. For now, I haven't spotted any plotholes - trust me, I've seen some that early in the chapters - and it looks like you won't have any. That's the kind of book that should be on many shelves in bookstores. 

The Characters: 10/10

Cara strikes me as a character that is not to be trifled with. She gives me that dangerous vibe that's gonna throw the system upside down, or could if she wanted to. I was especially drawn to the Lord in the prologue, who gave me the kind of feeling of discipline and noble purity. Does that make sense? I've read enough to know just like you worked on your plot, you also worked on your characters. If anything shows that, it's prologue. That's where I was completely surrounded by character development and not in a bad way. 

Grammar & Punctuation: 10/10

This is where you score another top score, in my opinion! I'm not a native English speaker but I know quite a few things about the language and I've edited some works too. Trust me, when I tell you this deserves a medal. Whenever I start reading a book on Wattpad, I am suspicious if I don't see a mistake and I was suspicious here as well. However, I can't deny how easy it felt to read it. Your book would satisfy any kind of Grammar Nazi. 

Advice & Overall Thoughts: 

I think my only advice would be to do something about the length of the prologue. I write long chapters too and I hate it when people tell me to shorten them. I mean, it's my story and if it took me 4.5k words to write this scene, just accept that it took me 4.5k words to write this scene! However, your prologue is really dragging. The thing about is probably that you like to describe the magic and the tricks which can become very boring to read and seem like an info dump if you still have twenty more minutes to finish the chapter. Really, I have nothing else to say but about length. It wouldn't hurt to split it in a sort of Prologue 1/2 and Prologue 2/2