Dallas

Chapter fourteen

We stood there in the dark looking at each other.

"I died right here." He said breaking the silence. "I was shot right there on that hill. I could hear Darry screaming for my name. That was the last thing I ever heard." I could feel my eyes burning while tears filled them.

"I woke up in heaven. I couldn't believe I had made it there." He laughed. But I didn't. I was still fighting back the tears that seemed to fight harder. They quickly began to escape my eyes.

"Johnny was there. And I could see everyone and everything going on. When I found out Sylvia was pregnant with my baby. I watched her everyday. I was so glad when she gave Darrel the baby. I knew he'd take great care of her. I watched you ever since. You were so smart and beautiful and funny. You acted nothing like me and I was so thankful for that."

He walked up to me and put his hand in my face where I was crying. This boy. This teenage boy was my father.

"Darrel is your father, Dallas." He said as if he could read my mind. "I could have never been a good father."

"I miss him. I thought if I solved this mystery I wouldn't miss him. I thought it would help but I didn't. It still hurts." Dally pulled me into a hug but my legs gave out and we fell onto the road. I cried into his chest.

"This isn't fair." I pulled back and looked at him. "I find out your my dad and you're gone too. Everyone in my life is gone."

"The mystery to be solved was never me. You had to solve the mystery your dad wanted you to solve was Dallas's mystery. You. You were the mystery."

"What?" I asked.

"I wanted you to find yourself Dallas." A voice called out behind me. I turned around and saw my dad.

"Daddy?" I questioned in disbelief.

"Hello baby." I ran to my father and embraced him in the tightest hug. I cried and screamed of joy and sadness into my father's chest.

"I miss you dad."

"I miss you too Dallas."

We hugged for a long time before I finally pulled back. "I get it now."

"Get what?" He asked.

"In Texas I wasn't myself. I was uptight and proper and you knew that wasn't the real me. In order to find myself I had to find out my history and my family. I know who I am now."

"Who are you?" He asked smiling.

"I'm Dallas." I answered smiling at Dally Winston. "But I'm also a Curtis." I answered looking back at my father.

"Don't forget that Jay in your name. That means something too." I heard Johnny call out. I turned around and was face to face with him. I smiled widely and hugged Johnny and kissed him.

"Don't kiss my daughter." Dallas and my dad both said simultaneously. Causing me to laugh lightly.

"You all have to go back now. Don't you?" I questioned in a sad voice.

"I'm afraid so Dallas." Dally answered.

I closed my eyes and turned to all of them. "Thank you." They smiled at me and then I ran to my dad and hugged him again.

"Soda and Ponyboy really miss you guys too."

"That's why they need you. They need you as much as you need them." My dad replied.

"I don't want y'all to go." I stated bluntly. "I need you guys. At least let me say goodbye to all of you separately." I begged. They nodded.

"But I go first." My dad recommended.

"Why?" I asked. I wanted his to be last.

"Because I know you want me to go last so I'm going first. I don't want you to be a crying mess by the time you get to me." I laughed and nodded in agreement. With that, Dallas and Johnny left for a little while leaving me and my father.

"You're always going to be my real dad. You know that right?" I asked.

"Of course baby. And you're still my little girl." He hugged me and I held on to my dad tightly. Not a single part of me wanted to let go.

"I'm going to miss you more than you can imagine Dallas. But I'm still here. I can see you from up there I promise. We all can. And I can hear you too. Remember that."

"Thank you for being the best part of me." I said with a strong voice, no longer shaking and crying. I was determine to be stronger for my father in our last conversation.

"I love you Dallas." He said with pride and admiration in his voice. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me." I hugged my father again. Knowing that when I let go, he'd be gone. I'm not sure how I knew, but I did.

"This isn't goodbye, Dallas."

"Then what do I say?" I asked with a small crack in my voice. I could feel the tears coming back again despite my best efforts to drown them.

"I'll see you soon. Not too soon though. You have to take care of my kid brothers for me Alright?" I gripped the back of his jacket as hard as I could.

"Daddy please don't go." I said giving up on being strong. I just wanted him. I didn't want to be strong without him.

"Dallas. I'm going to tell you something, and when I do, you're going to open your eyes and I'm not going to be here."

I closed my eyes and listened to my father's voice. "Your life is precious. I'm going to watch and listen to you every second. You're going to have kids and you will be a fantastic mother. You and my brothers will move on from this. You will have each other. Do not shut them out Dallas. Live. And live a beautiful life, I know I did. I love you Dallas."

I was crying loudly. But I knew what I had to do. "I love you daddy. I love you." I spoke through sharp breaths of cries. I forced my eyes open with a scream and he was gone. I fell to my knees and I remembered the story. How my father stood right here screaming for Dally Winston when he died. Now I kneel in the same spot eighteen years later screaming for my father.