Love Again

Chapter 3

2 weeks later

  I've been hanging out with Ed for two weeks.  Spending the night at his flat, him spending the night at mine. With my luck of course he is hanging out with Taylor Swift today...honestly I don't care for her and I don't care that he's friends with her, cause we're just friends but it just sucks when you have a major crush on a ginger headed boy who sings and plays the guitar and she's friends with the same person. I was sitting in Ed's room on his bed when he walked in "Hey...you look down. you alright?" I just shrugged my shoulders I mean I can't tell him all of this like, that would just make things awkward.

 "Nothing for you to worry about." He looked skeptical about it but just shrugged his shoulders and said "Promise?" I nodded my head and stuck out my pinky so we could make a pinky promise.

  "I want to sing..wanna help me with something?" I nodded my head and smiled "Okay I'm going to sing U.N.I and my guitar is in the studio so you wanna make a beat with your hands? like...uhh..just tap on your leg?" I nodded my head "i found your hairband on my bedroom floor. the only evidence that you'd been there before. I don't get waves of missing you anymore, they're more like tsunami tides in my eyes, never getting dry, so I get high, smoke away the days never sleep with the light on..."

  "Good, yeah?" Ed asks. I nodded my head "Yeah you were great." We were at my flat so seeing as he's talking about getting high, why not.

 I went and grabbed a lighter and a joint that Shawna and Harry had given me and went into the living room and Ed says "Is that a fucking joint?" He didn't sound mad he just sounded amused.

 I nodded my head and then all the sudden I had a flashback. "Yea i smoked weed with eddy and Shawn we were at the park and smoked a joint." he looked upset, angry even but i wasn't sure i cared though because i love him and i need him. "You got high with them?" I nodded my head yes. "Are you okay Ethan?" He started pacing back and fourth he finally stopped "No...we-" he sighs "We need some kind of break." Yea okay lets Ross and Rachael it up and "take a break" "Are you serious?" He nodded his head yes "Just for smoking weed with your fucking friends?! you knew about it I told you about it i know I did stop lying." "I didn't know stop lying to me! we're going on a break okay?"....." 

 God damn it. "Hey you okay?" I honestly wasn't sure so I just told him I was and light the joint and took a hit off it. "You know I've never met a girl that wanted to get high with me. not even Taylor she hates this stuff."

 of course she does. she has to be perfect for the media.

 "Oh really that's oddly strange.." He looked at me strangely while taking a hit of the joint "Why do you say that?" I just shrugged my shoulders cause I honestly can't think of anything to say in response I only said that because I didn't want to say what i was actually thinking. "Have you and Harry smoked together?" He scoffed "I think that's pretty obvious babe." 

babe? 

  "Well me and Shawna get high all the time." I said while taking another drag off the joint. I kinda made it sound like I was bragging about it. "Yeah? sometimes I smoke before writing a song but it turns out so well it doesn't even seem like i was high while writing it." I laughed really hard, mainly because I was high but it was one of those really contagious laughs where everyone laughs at your laugh.

 Ed was sitting on the floor by the couch while I was sitting on the couch and i fell off onto his lap while laughing and when i looked up our faces were really close to the others so I turned my head before anything could happen. I can't let this progress he needs to know...no, nope. It's too soon maybe in a month or two. ugh this is too complicated. He grabbed my hand was said "Why are you so fragile?" "Ed I want to tell you I really do but, I...I can't. I really want you to know i was literally just debating on telling you. it's just too soon. I'm sorry." He nodded.

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  "Shawna I don't know what to do I know it's not a big deal to tell him but when I tell him what happened I don't want him thinking I'm some emotional mess." She exhaled. "Well...just ease into it, I mean you told him you wanted to tell him right?" I nodded.

"But I think he already knows something though. He said I said something when we got drunk...I just don't know what I said." "I'll have Harry talk to him okay?" I nodded.

"Well Ed wanted me over for movies tonight so I'm going to head out." she nodded and waved me off. When I got to Ed's of all people are sitting on the couch. Taylor Fucking Swift. I rolled my eyes "Well I guess I'll let you and this kid get to your little movie night."

 I am not a kid, we are three years apart I am far from a kid you fucking asshole.

 "She's not exactly a kid..." "Whatever." And she rolled her eyes. "Do i look like that much of a kid to you?" He shook his head no. "Far from it actually. Honestly I just think she's jealous." 

oh.

 I laughed it off nervously. He goes into his room for a second I think to grab some movies and Graham hops onto my lap and purring then I see Ed walk out with a bong and some weed inside and two or three movies and his duvet and a body pillow. What are we cuddling or something? god please. "We're smoking?" He nodded his head yes. "I've been with her all day of course we are." He said with a cheeky smile. 

  We smoked two bowls and we're both high as hell. "You're...you're so cute..." He said. oh god. He's high as hell but I have a feeling he's telling the truth. "I...I wanna know what happenedddd to you cause I wannaaaa help you..." you can't help me though. "Then fix me Ed." And at that point I think he knew some kind of heartbreak happened so he just hugged me to his chest. "Make it go away Ed. I don't want to hurt like this anymore." He just nodded his head and kissed my  forehead. "I will. I promise." "Can I...can I tell you?" He nodded his head yes then said "But you don't have to okay? I want you to when you're ready." "I am.