Love Again

Chapter 41

I started bar tending down the road from Ed's house a couple nights a week just to get some extra cash and whenever I was working I would just walk down to his flat instead of taking a cab home, well technically I like with Ed now, I just need to bring my stuff over which I haven't done yet. So technically I was walking home at night.

I walked into the flat and Ed was laying on his stomach on the couch, he had his arms around a big fluffy pillow and his face was buried into it and he was asleep. How cute. I looked on the tv and saw he was watching Sons Of Anarchy. (a/n ed does actually watch this btw) I went by the couch and sat by the little space there was left and tried to wake him.

"Ed.." I whispered in his ear. He inhaled sharply and opened his eyes.

"I was awake I swear." He said. I laughed and shook my head. He pouted.

"I tried staying awake till your shift was over babeeee. I'm sorry." He said and I kissed his pouted lips.

"Why don't you go to bed babe?" I asked him. 

"I just wanted to stay up till you got home so I could hug you and help you relax cause you know you've been working for," He looked down at his Rolex watch. "Almost eight hours."

"It's fine I just wanna go to bed babe." I told him and he nodded his head and stood up and picked me up bridal style and carried me to bed.

I changed out of my work clothes and took off my bra and threw one of Ed's shirts over my head and slipped into my side of his bed that I sleep on and he stripped to his boxers and slipped into the bed next to me and spooned me from behind.

I woke up in the middle of the night to Ed thrashing around I sat up and looked over at him and he as still sleeping. I shook him calling his name but it wasn't working. I went and sat on top of him to try and get his attention.

"Ed baby wake up." I yelled at him and he finally did and we was looking around all confused.

"Ed...what's wrong?" 

"Nothing just go back to bed." He said and went back to sleep without spooning me or holding me at all.

-----------

Ed wasn't beside me when I woke up, I assumed he was in the kitchen like always cooking us some breakfast, but when I walked in there he wasn't there. Not even a note or text telling me where he was. He probably doesn't want me here anymore.

I decided to go to the bridge to think about what to do and when I got there Michael was also sitting there. "Hey...what are you doing here?" I asked him.

"Thinking. You?" He asked.

"Same."

"I really like Kailey." He blurted out.

"Ed had some nightmare of sorts last night and he won't answer my calls or texts. He was gone when I woke up."

"Maybe he's thinking too?" He asked.

"I doubt it. But if you like her so much why don't you just ask her out? You know for a fact she likes you too."

"I don't know I just...the distance. I feel like I couldn't be there for her."

"Just go for it and if it doesn't work out then...it doesn't work out."

"You know what? I will. Cal and Ash always tell me how we feel more than friendship for each other and I know I'm in love with her but I feel as if I told her that it'd just be friendship love to her."

"I doubt it Mikey. Just tell her how you feel."

"What about you, why'd you come here to think exactly?"

"I feel as if he just doesn't want me around anymore."

"You know that's not true."

"But I feel like it is." I said.

"Just...you know he's probably at the studio go confront him about it, tell him he can't do this shit to you and if he won't tell you...leave?"

"You sound unsure of that."

"Just go." He said and pushed me lightly. I listened and got up and flipped him off and started walking out of the woods to grab a cab to Atlantic Records.

-----------

I walked up to the reception desk to see if Ed was in but I've never been here so she probably won't let me in.

"Is Ed in the studio?" I asked the office lady.

"Yes but you're not allowed inside." She said with a nasty attitude.

Ha well I'm his girlfriend so....

"Well...how about I," I pointed to myself "His girlfriend just walk in there and sit on his lap and see how you like that."

"If you don't leave I think I'll have to call security." She said but before I could say anything sassy in reply Harry walked up. 

"I can handle this from here thanks Alicia." Harry said and gave her a fake smile and started to walk away with me.

"What's wrong with him, he wasn't in bed with me this morning and-" He cut me off before I could say more.

"Look, Ed has some pretty emotional baggage he hasn't told you about, and he used to get nightmares about it which is what happened last night, I wanna tell you but he's your boyfriend. He needs to tell you when the time is right okay?"

"Okay, well can I see him?" 

"Well...you know when he's upset he writes his feelings out so he's in the zone in song writing, there's really nothing you can do I'm sorry love." He smiled at me sadly.

"It's fine I'll just..." I sighed and sat down on the bench that we were nearby and started crying. I felt him sit beside me and put his arm around my shoulder. "Hey, it's alright you don't have to cry about it, he'll be fine."

"It's not that Haz, I just...I thought we were past this, I thought we could tell each other things but he obviously doesn't trust me enough for him to tell me what the hell happened to him."

"He does, he just..."

"He doesn't and you know it Harry." I stood up and stormed out of the studio, all I could think of was one person to make me feel better and that was Luke even though he told me he never wanted to see me again.

a/n i'm still at the moment trying to win tickets to ed's show on wednesday at the palace in detroit D: I've been doing this since 12 this afternoon & they sold the last one at 7:21 until tomorrow and they'll give away more all day tomorrow. AND WHEN I DID CALL AT 5 SOMEONE PICKED UP AND THEY FUCKING HUNG UP ON ME, THOSE BITCHES.  anways i'm still trying tomorrow. idc if i don't win at least i tried.