last composition // 𝓼𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓱𝓸𝓸𝓷.

page : eighteen

you are my s u n,
melts the icy cold
me  between you
and i, there’s n o
n e e d  for this
c o l d n e s s,  the
darkness in your
d r e a m s, are no
exits nightmare. 

– neverland by btob

01:04, tuesday
15th day of december.

it was past midnight, the practice room remained as loud and busy as it was.

the speaker echoes throughout the room. heavy breathing of eleven guys remained synchronized. sound of multiple sneakers brushing against the concrete dance floor accompanied the almost raspy voice of the choreographer.

"let's take a break for an hour." soonyoung said, noticing half of them were exhausted.

"finally." seungkwan heave a sigh, laying on the cold floor.

"i'll go downstairs and grab us something to drink." suggested jisoo.

"i'll go with you, hyung." dokyeom insisted as the pair made their way out of the room.

after some minute, the two came back with bottled minerals, gave one each, earning a soft 'thank you' from others.

the members eventually split into groups.

seokmin, seungkwan and chan were talking about random stuffs, names of few cartoon characters were even mentioned.

jisoo and vernon were busy talking about music and such.

minghao and jun were playing some typical game while mingyu jokes around wonwoo, who would only squint his eyes at the lame jokes of the younger.

meanwhile, seungcheol's busy talking with jeonghan. soonyoung stayed at the corner, leaning his back at the mirror.

"you guys did well, just a little practice and it's all perfect. as expected, they somehow learned the choreography." jihoon smiled, sitting beside the choreographer.

"glad that we made you proud." soonyoung said, intertwining their fingers together."it's much better if you were here, dancing with us." he continued.

jihoon bit the inside of his mouth.

god knows how much he wanted to be with the group, to spend some time with them, to sing and perform with them in the stage.

"you guys looked perfect even without me." jihoon hang his head low.

eventually, soonyoung had noticed the threathening break down of jihoon and damn, he didn't know what to do.

he didn't want to see younger crying.

"guys," he called out carefully, successfully earning the attention of the group.

"let's call it a day. you can go ahead, you've done a great job." soonyoung continued.

hearing what he had said, made the others sighed in relief.

"see you tomorrow. seven in the morning." he reminded for the last time.

the members bid their goodbyes, making their way out of the practice room.

there was a moment of silent.

soonyoung kneeled in front of the younger whose head hang low.

"baby, look at me." he said, voice as soft as lullaby.

"it's just, oh god. i shouldn't be like this, i should be happy for you all, you'll finally have your comeback, i shoul—"

soonyoung shushed the younger by pulling him in a hug."cry."

his voice doesn't sound commanding but jihoon find himself finally breaking down.

clutching the shirt of the older, he cried and cried even more.

"i'm here, let it out, tell me everything, hit me, curse me, do all you want, i'm here for you." said soonyoung, hugging the younger even tighter.

his left hand tracing comforting circle to the youngers back.

"i'm sorry. i can't help it, god knows how i wanted to live for the second time, i really want to." jihoon said in between soft sobs.

soonyoung rest jihoon's forehead on his shoulder as he rest his chin on the top of the youngers head.

"don't be." said soonyoung."you know we weren't the same without you hoon, even heaven knows how i wanted to bring you back to me." he continued.

the latter remained quiet, unable to utter a single word.

"so don't apologize for anything, it was not your fault." said soonyoung after some time of silence.

hesitant, jihoon could only nod.

"wanna go for a walk?" the older suggested, changing the topic.

the younger nod. soonyoung stood up and help the younger up as the two made their way out, intertwining their fingers together.

the walk was quiet, not uncomfortable but it was rather soothing and calming.

"soonyoung." jihoon finally called out.

"hm?"

"i was wondering." replied the younger.

"wondering? about what?"

"i finished the song but i'm still here, what does that mean?" jihoon asked, confused.

soonyoung smile bitterly."maybe it wasn't about the song. does something came into your mind?"

jihoon shook his head."no, i can't think of anything." he replied.

"rest assured noon. i'll help you with all my might." the older said, lightly squeezing the smaller hands of the younger.

jihoon smiled to himself."i know that i have you, your presence alone is enough to keep me going, actually." he mumbled under his breath.

"hoon, i think remember something about the night." soonyoung claimed, referring to the night where they got into the accident.

jihoon raised a brow, humming in reply.

"what is it?" the younger asked.

"remember the time chan told us that he wanted to watch with the others?" asked the older.

"hm. when?"

"the time you agreed and suggested that we should watch tomorrow night instead." continued the older.

jihoon nod."what about it?"

"let's go and watch a movie with the other guys, let's try if it has something to do with you." the older suggested.

the younger agreed at the idea."but when exactly?" asked jihoon.

"how about this coming saturday? we still have to practiced for the entire week." the older replied.

he nod, agreeing at the olders statement.

"sure. at the dorm?" jihoon suggested.

nodding, soonyoung tighten his grip to the younger and smile."yeah. the dorm, it is."

"i'm looking forward to it." replied jihoon, wearing his usual smile.

"it's pretty cold since it's past midnight." soonyoung pointed.

the city street was quiet, everyone were probably asleep by now.

"we should head back home now, let's go?" soonyoung held the hand of the younger as they made their way.

the choreographer made his mind. he will spend the remaining time with jihoon in a way he'd never forget. every day and night.

and so, whatever is that thing that awaits them ahead, he will be left with no regrets.