It Will Be Alright -- Treebros

Eight -- Zoe's Advice

I walked drove back home, finally acknowledging my feelings for Evan.  I never knew what love was.  Was this what it felt like?  My breathing became unsteady as I pulled up to the house, pulling out my keys.  I felt myself shake as I unlocked the door.  

Zoe turned to me as I ran up the steps frantically.  I slammed the door and sat on my bed, taking deep breaths.  My body shook rather violently, yet I didn't understand why.  This is normal, right?  Having a small crush on someone?

I attempted to calm down, laying down on my bed and feeling my heart go back to steady beats.  I heard the door open as Zoe walked in.  "Con, are you alright?" she questioned, concern in her voice.  I just shrugged at the ceiling, "I don't know, Zo,"  

She walked over to me, having me sit up.  She rubbed my back, "Tell me what's going on, Con,"  I took another deep breath, "I feel weird,"  She gave a confused look, "What?"  I shrugged once again.  "I-I feel tingly, and like, um... I can't stop shaking, I kind of wanna just... smile, but I never smile, so Ummm... I just want to laugh and y'know," I explained, feeling my face heat up severely.  

I felt a lump in my throat that seemed to be burning.  It was as if I wanted to cry, yet I wanted to just smile.  "Oh my god," Zoe said in disbelief.  I looked at her.  "Oh mY gOD," she repeated.  "What?" I asked, confused.  "YOU'RE BLUSHING." she nearly yelled.  My eyes widened, "I-I am?"

"YOU HAVE A CRUSH, DON'T YOU?" she exclaimed, jumping up.  I just stood there nervously, "I don't know..." She grinned wildly, "Sooooo.... who's the guy?" "Zoe!" I growled.  She just giggled, "Sorry, bro." 

"If you need any help, I'm available," she offered, wiggling her eyebrows.  I facepalmed.  "That's actually what I came here to a-" "Shush, gimme a minute," she interrupted, closing her eyes and inhaling.  "Zoe, what are you do-" "Ah, ah, ah, I'm savoring this moment," she replied, once again interrupting me.  "Why-" "So, the smart, know-it-all Connor Murphy is asking his hopeless little sister for advice?  Oh, am I flattered," she continued.  Oh my god.

"Please just help me," I begged.  "Wait, can I record this?" she asked, me rolling my eyes,  "No, Zoe,"  "Aw man.  Anyway, what are you feeling?" she asked, pulling out a pencil and a clipboard.  "Where the fuck did you get-" "Shh, no questions: Only answering." she cut me off, repeating herself, "What are you feeling?"

"W-Well, I keep getting nervous like I don't know what to do half the time.  It's unsettling knowing how I feel.  Also, you know that I don't know what it feels like to be in love.  When I'm near this person, I guess I feel happier?  Like, I never realized it before, but they told me something that made me realize my emotions.  Whenever I talk about it, I feel this burning sensation in my throat and then my face feels like it's on fire, y'know?"  I explained as she scribbled notes on her clipboard.  Yes, on the clipboard, not any paper or anything.  

"Mhmm.... So, you're obviously in stage one, you'll be going through other stages, so good luck with that," she replied.  "Wait, "other stages"?  Does it get better or worse?" I asked, kind of worried.  "Worse, you'll probably start imagining things, daydreaming, dreaming about this person, think about love more often, and start having sexual thoughts," she explained.

"Oh dear god," I muttered, blushing a bit.  "Yeah, good luck with that, bro.  Talk to me when you start having these thoughts, by the way," she winked, standing up.  "Session over, I'll see ya tomorrow, idiot.  Oh, and you should probably try asking this person on a date while you have the chance," she said, closing the door as she walked out.  I just groaned.  I pulled out my notebook, studying for our upcoming test next week.

Huh, second week and we already have a test.  I stared blankly at the paper for a little bit, my pencil still, hesitating before touching the paper.  I thought for a moment.  What do I really feel about Evan?  I don't understand.  God, I hate human emotions.

The next morning, I tried avoiding Evan at school, though that didn't really work.  Everywhere I went, Evan was there.  I feel like when you're trying to find someone, you can never find them, but when you're trying to avoid someone, they're everywhere.  

I was looking through the books at the school library, which was a place that Evan wasn't.  Hopefully.  Most of the books I had already read, which is why I was bored by the school library.  With my luck, I heard my name called from behind me, "Connor!"

I turned around to see Evan.  I tried to act casual, shuffling my feet a bit.  "Hey, Hansen!  I haven't seen you all day, how have you been?" I asked, giving an attempt at a smile.  "I thought you were avoiding me," he replied.  "No, never.  I wouldn't avoid my only friend," I assured, him smiling up at me. 

He hugged me, causing me to tense a little as my face glowed a bright red.  I hugged back, wanting to smile, but that'd be weird.  He let me get used to the contact as I loosened up a bit.  He pulled away, giving a silent chuckle.  Evan's cheeks were a bright red as well, I knew he was feeling what I was.  

I can't help from him feeling what I'm feeling.  No matter how hard I try to hide it, he knows, yet he doesn't know who for.  Thank god for that.  Evan turned to walk away, but I stopped him.  Going by what Zoe said yesterday, I said, "Hey, would you like to hang out after school, perhaps?"  He smiled a bit, "I'd like that,"

He walked away, leaving me to think.

God, what have I done