In That Moment- A Chicago PD FanFiction

Chapter 20

Erin's P.O.V.

"Have you been to the doctor yet?" He asks me and I shake my head. He gives me a disapproving look. He's right, I can't just bury my head in the sand forever. "I was scared... and I just.... I don't know Jay... It just seemed like it would make it all real if I went to the doctor.." I say uncertainly, I'm not really sure if he's angry with me or not. I let out an audible sigh of relief as he nods and smiles. "I know, it's difficult to adjust to the idea... I'm sorry about this morning but you kinda took me by surprise!" he says and I smile weakly back at him. "Trust me, I was just as surprised." I laugh, it's true, this was the last thing I was expecting. He laughs too, moving closer to me and putting an arm around me. I lean in closer to him and smile. I'm glad he's back. "You know you're going to have to talk to Voight." He says and my heart stops, then I realise what he's just said. "What do you mean I'm going to have to talk to Voight?!" I demand. He laughs and looks at me. "Yes you will because I don't want him to kill me!" He laughs. I know he's only joking but I can't help but worry about what people are going to say. It's never been easy to judge what Voight's reaction to something will be, but on this subject I'm particularly clueless. "I'll do it tomorrow?" I say uncertainly, still hoping Jay might offer to do it for me. "Sounds good. It's all going to be ok Erin." He says reassuringly, resting a hand on my stomach. I close my eyes and rest my head on his shoulder, hoping he's right.

It's a restless night, I don't think I slept for more than 10 minutes at a time. I'm laying there, in the darkness, trying to work out what on earth I'm going to say to Voight. Jay's clearly not worried about it. He's lying next to me, fast asleep and snoring in my ear. He looks so peaceful and carefree, totally unphased by the fact our entire lives are going to change. I have to say though, I'm glad he came back. I was so worried that after his reaction this morning he was going to leave me to do this on my own, I should have known better though, there's no way he'd do that to me. I place my hand gently over his which is resting across my waist. I feel his fingers tighten around mine and then realise he's stopped snoring. "I can hear you worrying- stop!" He whispers in my ear and I laugh a little. "It's going to be ok." He whispers, kissing the top of my head. "I know." I reply, and for the first time I actually believe him.

The morning comes far too soon for my liking. Jay has to practically drag me out of bed. "Erin, it's going to be fine!" He says as I bounce around the kitchen nervously. I pull a face at him and he laughs. "Have you eaten anything? We don't want a repeat of yesterday!" He says, holding a plate of toast out to me. I pull a face at him, but the look he gives me tells me not to argue with him. I feel sick to my stomach at the minute and the thought of food is just making it worse. I half heartedly eat a slice of toast before pulling on my boots. I go to reach for the car keys but Jay get's there first. "I'm driving." He says and I let out an exasperated sigh. This is going to get seriously frustrating.

It's a quiet ride to work, I'm going over and over in my head what I'm going to say to Voight. "You sure you don't want to talk to him?" I plead with Jay as we walk in to the precinct. He shakes his head at me and laughs slightly as I smack him playfully. My heart is racing as we walk up the stairs to intelligence, Jay squeezes my hand gently. We part ways when we reach the top of the steps, each of us going to our desks. I sit there, tapping my fingers on the edge of the desk absentmindedly until Voight arrives. I hear his office door shut but I carry on looking down at my desk, I'm stalling and I know Jay's not going to let me get away with it. I sigh and look up as I hear him clear his throat. He gestures to Voight's office and I reluctantly get to my feet. "I hate you, y'know that?" I ask him as I walk past and he laughs, ignoring the strange looks everyone else is giving us.

I knock gently on the door, my heart hammering in my chest. Voight calls for me to come in and I shoot a glare over my shoulder at Jay before I walk in. Voight looks up and smile at me. "Hey kid, what's up?" He asks me and all the words I'd planned to use immediately vanish. He sits there looking at me, waiting as I pace up and down his office trying to find the words. "Sit down Erin, you're scaring me." He says, and I can hear the concern in his voice I sit down on the seat opposite him, playing with my fingers nervously. "Whatever it is Erin, just spit it out." He says. I'd forgotten he can read me like a book. I look up and him and take a deep breath, trying to make my mouth actually form the words.

"I'm pregnant." I choke out after a few moments silence. I try and watch Voight's face, attempting to work out what his reaction is going to be but he's not giving any clues. Eventually, he exhales loudly and looks up at me. My heart is pounding in my ears, my nails digging into the palm of my hand. "Halstead?" He asks and I nod slowly, almost afraid to tell him. His quiet again for a few moments. "Are you happy?" He asks me. I smile at him and try to make it convincing. I am happy, it's not a lie, it's just taken me by surprise and there's so much other stuff to worry about. "of course I'm happy, I'm just a bit surprised..." I say and he laughs slightly. "You and me both kid!" He says and I smile back at him, more genuinely this time "Now get back to work..." He laughs, pushing me gently towards the door.

I close the door behind me on the way out and everyone else looks up at me, including Jay. He doesn't say anything, but I can tell by the look on his face he's desperate to know the answer. I smile at him and give him a thumbs up and the relief that crosses his face is obvious. I'd almost totally forgotten about the other people in the room until Ruzek speaks. "Hold up, what's going on here?" He asks and I look at Jay, raising my eyebrows. Jay stands up walking over to me. He places an arm around my waist and turns to face the rest of our unit. "Erin's pregnant.." He smiles. There's a few seconds silence while they all process what Jay's just said, then there's a cheer of congratulation from them all which makes me laugh. Voight comes out of his office and I hold my breath for a second, praying he's not about to start on Jay. Thankfully he doesn't. "Guess you're gonna be a Grandpa!" Ruzek laughs looking at Voight who shakes his head slightly, laughing. "Don't you ever say that again Ruzek- I'm not that old!" Voight says sternly, making everyone laugh. It doesn't seem real to me, it's like some crazy dream I'm about to wake up from. Only it's not a dream, I'm actually going to be a Mom.