In That Moment- A Chicago PD FanFiction

Chapter 5

Sorry, there was a mistake with posting the chapter. This is the correct one.

Jay's P.O.V.

I sit there with her, just holding her hand while she sleeps. I sit there, looking at he face. She looks exhausted, and I know she's putting all her energy in to trying to convince everyone she's fine- just like she always does. But as I sit there, listening to her wheezing with each breath and listening to the steady beeping of the monitors I realise how lucky I am that she made it out of that warehouse alive, it could have been so much worse. My thoughts are interrupted by a nurse, walking in to the room to check on Erin. She gives me a sympathetic smile. "How you holding up?" She asks me, moving around to the other side of the bed. I force a smile back to her. "I'm ok.." I reply, not really knowing what else to say. I don't know how I feel anymore, but the guilt is still there- especially sitting here watching her laying in that bed. It should be me there not Erin. The nurse gives me a sad smile. "She's lucky to have you y'know... Recovering from injuries like these are always tough, especially if theres no one there.." She says, as she makes a note in Erin's chart. I half smile back at her, not knowing what to say. Does it really matter that I'm here for her now when it's my fault she's in that bed?

I'm still waiting for her to start to blame me for what's happened to her, for not having her back. This injury could change her life forever, and I know there's a possibility she will end up hating me for it. As I look at her sleeping peacefully, her hand wrapped tightly around my own I struggle to imagine being without her. I can't imagine what it's going to be like, going back to work without my partner. In a way I'm almost glad Voight's not talking to me, to be honest I'm not even sure if I still have a job. At least now I can sit here with Erin.

I smile to myself, sitting there watching her. There's something about Erin Lindsay I just can't put my finger on. She's always had the ability to make me laugh, even when I don't want to. It amazes me, the way she stands up to Voight when no one else dares to question him. How much she's over come, the way she's managed to totally turn her life around. She's one of the strongest people I've ever met, and it's that thought that makes me believe that she'll get through this, and that she'll be back at work winding me up in no time. She has to be, because I can't even let myself consider the alternative.

Erin's P.O.V.

I smile when I wake up to find Jay still sat by the side of my bed, holding my hand. His head is resting against the back of the chair, snoring slightly. A nurse walks in, coming to check on me again. "How are you feeling?" She asks me, checking the monitors around me. "Sore!" I reply, the nagging pain in the back of my head still there. She's about to answer when Jay stirs slightly in his sleep, causing us both to look over at him. "He really loves you doesn't he. I'll go see if I can get you some more pain meds." She says with a smile, turning to walk out of the door. I lay there, looking over at Jay. I wish that what the nurse has just said is true, but how could he ever fall in love with someone as messed up as me. As much as I'd love to believe he's here because he cares about me, I'm fairly sure it's more to do with some kind of guilt he feels for letting me go in there alone.

I let my head sink back in to the pillows as the room starts spinning around me. I can't believe how weak I am, I can barely even lift my head any more. I'm relived to see nurse coming back with more pain killers. I've got a splitting headache and the pain seems to be radiating through my whole body. I don't even feel the needle the nurse puts in my arm, it's nothing compared to the pain I feel right now. I just about hear her speak but I'm too busy trying to stop the spinning in my head, it's making me feel nauseous. "Erin?" I head the nurse calling my name, pressing a cool hand to my forehead. I can feel myself slipping back in to the darkness as she calls my name repeatedly, trying to get some kind of response from me. "Call a code!" Is the last thing I hear before I slip in to unconsciousness again.