In That Moment- A Chicago PD FanFiction

Chapter 9

Jay's P.O.V.

I surprised myself by shouting at Voight, I've never done that before- I'm not afraid to admit he scares the crap out of me. But there's a part of me that's just so angry, that these people who are supposed to be her friends and family haven't been there for her when she needed them. I know without a doubt that Erin would have been there for any of them if the situation had been reversed, but it was too much effort for them to come and see her for a little while. Then again, it's not the first time this unit hasn't stuck by one of its own, i think to myself, remembering the way they'd all deserted me when i was accused of murder. I can hear Voight behind me, running to catch up with me as i rush down the street. I grimace slightly, he's not going to be happy with me. "Halstead!" He yells, finally catching up with me, putting a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"I'm sorry ok! I should have been there i know that!" He yells, despite being stood right in front of me. I notice a few people on the street giving us funny looks. "It's not me you should be apologising to." I reply bluntly, shrugging out from under his hand and walking away. I can't be bothered to have this conversation with him right now, i've got more important things to worry about- like finding Erin. I shiver, pulling my coat closer around me. It's freezing out here, making me even more anxious to find her. I can still hear Voight behind me, struggling to keep up with me. I'm desperately racking my brains, trying to work out where she might have gone. I'm racking my brains and coming up blank, i haven't got a clue where she's gone, or even if she's come in this direction.

I spend about 20 minutes wandering around, checking every street i can think of. Voight's still behind me, looking for her too. Thankfully he's kept his thoughts to himself, or i think i might have hit him. I can feel my anxiety rising, the panic that something might have happened to her, and it will be all my fault again. I'm wondering if we should be calling hospitals to see if she'd been hurt when i spot some familiar hair on a bench 100 yards in front of. I stop abruptly, causing Voight to nearly walk in to the back of me, and let out a sigh of relief. I'm about to rush over to her when Voight puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me. "I need a minute Halstead." He says, walking over to her before I get a chance to reply. As much as i want to rush over there and check she's ok i nod at him, knowing i need to give him a chance to talk to her. He darts in between the crowd, sitting down on the bench behind her. I move slowly towards them, staying just out of earshot, ready to chase after her if she storms off, but i'm hoping she'll hear him out, that she'll realise how hard this has been on Voight.

Erin's P.O.V.

I'm sat there, on the bench in the freezing cold just thinking. There's so much in my mind at the moment, filled with various different scenarios. I know i'm being ridiculous, that i'm worrying too much, over complicating things but i can't help it. I can't get the thought out of my mind that i'm a burden on Jay, that he feels like he has to look after me because of some kind of guilt he's holding about that night. He's reassured me a few times that it's not the case, but the thought is still there in the back of my mind. I snap out of my thoughts as someone sits next to me on the bed. I'm surprised to see it's Voight. "Hey Kid.." He says softly, looking at me. "Finally remembered I exist then?" I reply, I meant it to come out jokingly but it doesn't. My harsh words hang in the air for a moment before he speaks again. "Erin.... I'm sorry- It's just every time I look at you, I see you lying on that floor in a pool of your own blood.... It's my fault, I should never have sent you down there-" He starts and I roll my eyes slightly. What is it with the men in my life and trying to take the blame for events beyond their control? He smiles at me, looking at my expression. "I know it's no excuse, I'm sorry- But you've got Halstead.... And as much as i wish you'd listened to me when I told you not to date someone in my unit, he really cares about you- no matter what you think." He continues, looking at me.

There's a few moments silence and I can't help but laugh. "Thanks Dad!" I tease, moving towards him as he pulls me into a hug. I wince slightly as he squeezes me just a little too tightly, my broken ribs protesting. "Sorry kid." He mumbles, releasing me as Jay appears beside us. "That's my cue!" Voight laughs, standing up. "Take care of her Halstead!" He calls back over his shoulder as he walks away. Jay sits down slowly on the bench next to me. "I'm sorry..." He starts and I shake my head, cutting him off. "You have nothing to apologise for Jay- You've been a saint, more than i could ever ask for... You don't have to be with me every waking moment... Nothings going to happen to me.." I say quietly. He laughs slightly, raising an eyebrow at me. "Ok, well i wont be so stupid next time!" I laugh, smacking his arm playfully. "Come on, lets go home- It's freezing out here!" He says, getting to his feet and holding a hand out for me.

I take his hand gratefully, I'm so exhausted i don't think that I could stand on my own. After pulling me to my feet he wraps his arm securely around my waist, pulling me in towards him. I lean on him, walking slowly back towards the car he's brought around. As soon as we get in he turns the heating on full, and then as the warm air fills the car I start to realise just how cold I actually am. It only takes a few moments for us to get back to the apartment, but it takes us a while to get up the stairs. I'm so tired that I can barely lift my legs to walk up the steps. When we get into the apartment I head in the direction of the shower, hoping some hot water will warm me up- I'm still absolutely frozen. Jay takes my coat out of my hands, hanging it up for me as I slowly walk to the bathroom. As i reach the door frame i turn back to look at him, gripping on to the door frame tightly to steady myself. He looks up, to find me standing there smiling at him. He gives me a questioning look, I smile " Just thinking about how lucky I am..." I reply, heading into the bathroom. I shut the door behind me and sit down on the toilet for a moment, my head is spinning again. As i squeeze my eyes shut trying to stop the spinning sensation, I hope desperately for some form of normality soon.