In That Moment- A Chicago PD FanFiction

Chapter 27

Ok guys, this is it- the final chapter! I've really enjoyed writing this, I wasn't sure about it to start with as it's the first time I've tried to write anything in the first person. Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed reading and let me know what you think. :) (sorry it's short, I just felt it needed something to round it off.)

Erin's P.O.V.

I think we are both finally starting to get the hang of this whole parenting thing. It's taken a whole but it turns out that I'm actually pretty good at function on next to no sleep. I've finally learned how to kick Jay hard enough to wake him up when Millie starts crying during the night, an added bonus. I smile to myself thinking about how i actually managed to knock him clean out of the bed last night.

I found it a little odd to begin with, being back at work. My first day back I think I must have called the nanny more or less every ten minutes to check she was ok. It still feels weird, walking out he front door every morning and leaving my baby with someone else. I can't help but feel a little bit guilty, like I should be staying at home with her.

I've become much more aware of the dangers of my job since I've been a Mom. I used to volunteer for all the undercover work, run in to buildings no questions asked. Now though, I can't help but think about the potential dangers that lie behind each door. I guess it's a result of being injured in the line of duty, that and having Jules die in my arms. It still haunts me now, the look on her husbands face when he found out his kids were going to grow up without a mother. I'm so much more careful now because I don't want that to happen to Jay and Millie.

I smile to myself looking over at Jay, who's sat on the sofa playing with our daughter. He's so much better at this than I am, I felt like a failure for weeks- no matter what I did I just couldn't get her to stop crying. I'd phoned Jay in tears, convinced I was failing as a mother. He'd come rushing back from work, I'd totally freaked him out with my crying and he was totally convinced something was seriously wrong. He'd sat there with me and held me until I stopped crying, then he'd done the same with Millie. It made me realise just how lucky I am to have him, there's no way I could do this on my own. If you'd asked me when I woke up in the hospital after I was attacked where I'd be right now I can garuntee I wouldn't have guessed correctly. But standing here, watching Jay play with our daughter I know I wouldn't change any of it for the world, and as Jay looks up and smiles at me I know he wouldn't either.