Hoseok's Everything (Imagine)

Leaving

You thought things were going well between Hoseok and the members again. You were healing and you were up and doing your job again. Everything was back to the way it was before... but then everything changed.

"No Hoseok! You can't do that; do you hear me?!"

Hoseok continued cooking.

"Hoseok!"

"I've already made up my mind. I'm leaving the group."

You felt the world tilted and you had to put a hand on the stool next to you so you don't collapse.

"Is this because of me?"

Hoseok looked up at you for a bit and then went back to cooking. "No."

"Liar."

When Hoseok said nothing, you continued on, "No, I won't let you do that!"

Everything flashed before your eyes. The members. The fans... Oh my God, everything will be so different without him.

"I've already made up my mind. Even you can't change it this time."

You refused to believe a word from him. He was still living that night. There is no way Hoseok will actually leave the group.

***

The fight continued on for the next few days. Hoseok wasn't lying. No matter what you say or do, he really has made up his mind.

As you two sat far from each other, just staring off into space, you inhaled deeply, saying quietly, "You won't listen to me no matter what I say, right?"

Hoseok was quiet for a beat. "That's right."

You felt numb. It was all because of you.

"Tell me why..." you begged. "Anything to make me understand what's going on your mind."

Hoseok looked over at you, his eyes filled with pain. You hated seeing that look in his eyes. It made you weak.

"I thought I'd lost you and that really killed me."

You rushed to reassure him. "I'm alive... aren't I? And even if I wasn't...it was something that cannot be helped."

Hoseok shook his head slowly. "I can't live without you. I just want to be Hoseok from now on."

"But you already are—"

"I don't want to be J-Hope anymore," he continues to say quietly. "I just...I can't. I put my whole life out there for the fans. I've dreamt of standing on stage at every given chance. My dreams were to heal the hearts and minds of those who are in pain. My dreams were to dance and never stop..." he sighed, "I've thought about this before your accident."

"You're lying and you know it!"

"I proposed to you because I wanted to spend forever with you," Hoseok said, ignoring your comment. "I've spent years on stage, Y/N. I do not want our future kids to be caught up in the messy life of an idol. Hell, even I was against dating you in the beginning because of this."

"I'm pretty sure we're passed all this already—"

He cut you off. "The only thing I fear is losing you. I thought that was it, but I was wrong. There is no way I can go on pretending to be okay if something had happened to you that night. Not to mention, there is no way I'm missing out on our marriage life because of the busy schedules."

You stared at him.

"What if you were giving birth and I'm halfway across the world? Do you think I can just fly back? No, I can't do that to the fans or to you. I know you'll understand and I know they'll understand if I miss a few concerts too. I want to be a good father and husband to you and to do that, I have to be Hoseok, not J-Hope or whatever. Do you not see that?"