STARGIRL

38. Heaven or Las Vegas?

    Arabella was tired as she dragged herself into the comfort of her cheap motel room.

She shut the door and locked it behind her, when she heard the lock click she pushed her body against the door and let out a heavy sigh that indicated how worn out she was.

The heavy duffel bag she still had slung over her shoulder slid down her arm slowly until it hit the hard floor with a hefty thud.

Arabella gave herself a little push off from the door and rushed over to the bed that she refrained herself from falling onto.

She began to check it for impurities before even laying on it. She didn't expect much for a cheap motel room, she was sure there would be questionable stains but what she did want was to have a barrier between her body and the mattress.

That's why she hoped the sheets were at least fresh and they were.

She threw her body onto the stiff bed and sat up on the pillows as she looked around the small room.

There was nothing particularly interesting about it.

The walls were painted an off-white color and were slightly beginning to peel due to how old they were. The carpet was brown and dingy with a lot of stains and the bed itself was Queen-sized, stiff, and had clean sheets that were too rough and irritating on the skin.

Arabella didn't care.

She was too tired and she wasn't going to stay in a motel room forever. She just had to get a foot in the door to establish herself into becoming a fabulous Las Vegas escort.

Then she knew she would be living in high-rise condominiums or at least a high-end hotel.

Arabella reached over to the switch beside the bedside and switched it off, the whole room went dark. The only light source came from the glint of the ivory moonlight that was filtering in through the window blinds.

The teenager delicately placed a hand over her chest.

The emotion she was feeling was foreign.

There was a deep, piercing feeling in her chest that was beginning to weigh down on her with pressure.

Arabella laid still to think and process every thought that was rushing in her mind.

For the first time in a long time, Arabella acknowledged that what she was feeling was none other than fear itself.

"The other night dear as I lay sleeping..." Her wavering voice began and then had quieted down as she turned the words into a sweet hushed hum.

Reflecting on her past, Arabella could see everything she had ever did wrong and for a split-second forgot who she was because she was so overwhelmed by the blinding truth of what an ugly person she truly was.

She continued to hum until the words began to replay in her head over and over again, layering over one another at different speeds and at different times until the sound became distorted beyond recognition.

"Don't take my sunshine away." She mumbled clenching the blanket underneath her between her balled up fists.

She stopped the singing and she stopped the humming.