STARGIRL

64. Results

Arabella woke up that morning with a heavy feeling of impending doom weighing her down, but she couldn't pinpoint the issue or describe it to herself.

She stared blankly at the ceiling for approximately three minutes before she understood what was happening to her. She surmised that it was most likely because she had just awakened from a nightmare that she could not remember.

Nightmares had become regular occurrences in her psyche for the past two months. Every other night she would wake up abruptly and try to remember what she had seen, but it was never of any use.

However, the nightmare she had just experienced was different because of the emotions it caused her to feel. The young woman was brewing with sentiments of anguish, anxiety, and anger.

Arabella slowly arose and sat up against the headboard of the queen-sized bed. The young woman calmed herself down and thought about her father's lullaby and how she would sing it to herself as a little girl whenever she was scared, but she immediately scrapped that idea and instead decided to get ready.

Arabella was forcing herself to go out into the world today only because of the overbearing Wendy Schmidt, her current guardian, and social worker was forcing her to go and buy new supplies and clothes for schools.

The 5-foot 7-inch tall girl arched her back and stretched her arms upward toward the ceiling. She let out a small grunt and then a sigh.

Arabella dragged her bare feet against the beige carpet and went toward her window nook, where she had three succulents growing on the ledge. She took a seat and grabbed the small spray bottle she kept beside them. The girl misted them and then checked if they needed a trim.

On the same ledge, she had a small glass terrarium where she placed pieces of an egg carton, grass, dirt, stones, and twigs inside of it as well as Natasha, her precious black widow spider.

She found the spider one warm day in June, where it was crawling around her succulents. Arabella was curious to see if it would bite her and so she picked it up with little to no hesitation. As she thought, the small arachnid did not bite her but instead crawled around her forearms and palms.

She ensured that Natasha was alright and that she still had insects trapped on her delicate silk webs.

Even though bugs and plants were of no interest to her, she found that they were a way for her to escape her intrusive thoughts. Keeping herself occupied by nurturing, was one of her few non-destructive methods of coping she had.

Arabella didn't have a routine during the summer. The teenager spent her time either reading or binging a television series, but most of all, she refused to socialize if it wasn't needed.

Wendy hated having to nag Arabella to be friendlier and extroverted, but it had always been difficult for her even to understand the adolescent, and things had only gotten harder. Especially now that Arabella barely ever spoke and was as defiant as ever.

Arabella needed to note that she did not believe in the need to communicate her issues with anyone. She preferred to keep every idea and thought to herself. She laughed when the state tried to force a psychologist on her.

Arabella refused to speak to her and would sometimes only talk in circles for her immature amusement, and seeing the psychologist working hard to keep her demeanor was entertaining. Overall, Arabella knew she wasn't right in the head, but she surmised that as long as she was self-aware, she didn't need or want any professional help.

Her psychologist was bold enough to diagnose her with post-traumatic stress syndrome even though Arabella only spoke to her in nonsensical riddles. Arabella wasn't told directly, but she did read it in the notes after she sneaked the psychologist's case journal.