Change; An Edwin Honoret Fanfiction

24 [UNEDITED]

I end our kiss practically as soon as it began and I shake my head and smile sarcastically, "thats the thing, Edwin" I paused, looking up and trying to think of the right words to say.

"I just felt butterflies erupt through my stomach as if I were a zoo in the spring, and that probably meant nothing to you, you probably didn't feel anything"

He begins to laugh and those butterflies are replaced with confusion, why is he laughing? Because he has me wrapped around his finger? What a fucking douchebag.

"You're stupid" he says as if he's declaring it, "really fucking stupid"

"Fuck you"

"are you really that blind?"

"What do you mean "blind"?" I ask, genuinely clueless. I like to consider myself observant.

"Why on Earth do you think I kissed you just then? Or in New York? Not only that, but I kissed you back when you kissed me. Why on Earth do you think I got so angry on the plane when that, may I say, very attractive guy started talking to you? And why the fuck do you think I agreed to do this stupid dating thing in the first place?"

"I don't know" I roll my eyes, "because you're stupi-"

"Fucking unbelievable" he mumbles angrily as he begins to head out of the treehouse. I quickly stop him by grabbing his arm and turning him around. My eyes meet his watery ones and I can't help but feel tears form in my own too.

"I'm sorry" I say in a way that makes me sound like I'm begging. Am I begging? What would I be begging for?

For him to stay. It's so obvious that I need him to stay.

He laughs again and he finally allows tears to escape his eyes, "for what?"

"I don't want you to leave"

"I don't want to leave you, but you need to tell me what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours. I can't keep doing" he throws his arms up in the air, "this! I can't do it anymore"

"Edwin" I groan "I don't know anything about relationships or anything in that category. You deserve someone that does"

"What I want and what I deserve are two very different things, baby girl. Do you remember when you said you trusted me?"

I nod lightly before beginning to cry, his immediate reaction is to come over and sit next to me, lifting his hand to my cheek and softly wiping the tears away.

We must both look delusional, we're both crying heavily while trying to admit that we like one another in a way I'm pretty sure neither of us have experienced in our lifetimes.

"Then trust me with this, okay? I like you, fuck Abigail, I like you a lot and it's driving me crazy that you don't see that because I've made it so damn obvious. I only say this cause I really mean it, so tell me, do you trust me?"

"I do"

"So what's holding you back?"

"I- I need to- ugh I just need you to know some stuff first"

This is true, I have no fucking idea how to date someone. Truth be told I never wanted to, so this whole damn thing is new to me, and that's horrifying.

"Say anything that helps you feel more comfortable in this situation"

"I want you to know I'm going to fuck this whole thing up one million times over"

"I can live with that, truth be told I will too" he laughs, though it's void of humour.

"And you're gonna have to spell it out for me sometimes, tonight is a pretty good example" I laugh along with him.