Change; An Edwin Honoret Fanfiction

36

READ THE AUTHORS NOTE AT THE BOTTOM THX

"I know you're angry and that's understandable-"

"Edwin" I cut him off, exhaling louder then I would usually, "You're right. I'm angry. But if we have this discussion now then I'm going to scream and the situation is going to become ten times worse then it actually is"

He pauses for s moment, unsure of what to say, "so.."

"So drive me home, let me do this dumbass meeting with Simon and some other random people, and then give me time to think"

He nods, anxiously gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turn a nice shade of white.

The anxiety that could clearly be read on his face has been replaced with confusion and some form of relief that I didn't react like a lunatic. I'm kind of disappointed that that's what he still expects of me, since I've grow a hell of a lot since the first time we met, but I refuse to let that small fact get me angry.

The whole entire car ride to my house is dead silent, the ignition roaring and the radio softly booming out of the two speakers being an exception, so when we arrive ten minutes later and both of those turn off, an awkward atmosphere consumes the two of us.

"I'm-" I start at the same time that Edwin attempts to apologise, causing me to let out a laugh that is completely void of humour.

"You go first" he says softly, his nervousness of the situation evident by the voice crack at the end of his sentence.

"When did you find out that you're going? Because I can't be angry if you only found out recently. You don't make these decisions and I know that, management does"

His eyes widen, "Abig-"

"When" I cut him off, my voice more demanding which clearly catches him off guard.

He takes a breath and I do the same, although he's most likely trying to calm nerves and I'm trying to calm the angry beast inside of my chest that so desperately wants to escape.

"I found out a month and a half ago-"

"Are you serious?!" I raise my voice, "Edwin, less then two hours ago you were angry at me for keeping secrets not nearly half as large as this one. Do you understand how hypocritical that is?"

He nods, averting his gaze from my eyes and down into his lap.

"When" I break the silence again.

Understanding my question immediately, he shakes his head.

"I wanted to tell you-"

"When, Edwin?"

"Two days!" He roars, "I tried... you just... do you hate me?"

"As I said" my voice is now lowered, but still not its normal everyday tone, "I need time to think Edwin. I'm not the old me, I don't want to resort to running off and fucking someone else to get back at you, or slashing your tires or doing something else insane. I want to handle this properly. I just- I have to go"

Before he's able to respond with some 'no, wait!' bullshit, I've already collected all of my things from out of his car and I'm heading towards my house. I don't hear him drive away, but I also refuse to look back.

Maybe, just maybe if I had known. If I had known what this tour holds for the both of us.

Maybe I would've gone back to my old ways.

It would've been easier for us, for him.

For me.

*