Change; An Edwin Honoret Fanfiction

37

I wasn't aware of the existing tears running down my beet red face until I stood up and wiped them away subconsciously. I don't know what's bothering me more; the fact that Edwin his the truth, the fact that he came over even though he was told not to or the fact I'm really fucking happy that he's here.

I look to everyone with a fake smile plastered on my exhausted face, "can you guys go bowling or something? Sneak out once Edwin is inside or something? I need to be alone with him right now"

Everyone nods and Hanna grabs the keys off of the coffee table in front of her, chuckling lightly, "for someone who is notorious for it, you really can't hold a grudge"

Having a sympathetic expression written on their faces, they each slowly make their way out of the back door with a silent goodbye lurking in the air somewhere. Just as the final strand on Simons head flys out the door, the doorbell rings and I'm reminded of the situation at hand and why they all had to leave.

Taking slow steps to the door, or more or less strides, I reluctantly yet excitedly undo the hatch on the front door and turn the knob, revealing a puffy eyed Edwin.

"I-I know you told-"

"Edwin" I cut him off softly, "come in"

He nods lightly, and I move to the side of the door to give him space to enter the now-empty lounge room. He obviously sits on the couch, and ten seconds later I am moving and going to sit next to him.

Keeping my distance, of course. I don't want to give him the wrong idea.

"Maybe we shouldn't be... you know-"

His eyes widen in panic and he's very quick to cut me off, "Are you- are you breaking up with me?"

"Edwin it's not like I don't have feelings for you because god knows I do, but our communication skills are the worst. It's kind of toxic-"

"So we work on that. I don't want to give up on us Abigail. I really, really don't. I'm not half as strong as you, I don't think I'm able to even think about that right now let alone actually do it"

I nod softly, another tear falling down my face as it does his and I can't help but laugh.

"I guess so-"

"Iloveyou" he blurts in what sounds like a long series of random sounds, "I. Love. You"

I shake my head vigorously, a blush running to my cheeks as a result of his words.

He loves me.

"Are you sure?" I question, my eyes meeting his for the first time today. His pupils are diluted, making the brown in his eyes a beautiful shade of deep brown. Although the area around his eyes is puffy, he still looks beautiful.

Really, really beautiful.

Soon enough, Edwin is the one laughing here for no reason and my brain decides to find humour in the situation as well, causing me to laugh also.

"That's not the response I was expecting" he inhales sharply through his laughter, "who the fuck says 'you sure?' after someone tells them that they love them?"

"Me bitchass are you kidding"

I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into an embrace that he very quickly returns. Urgently, almost.

I want to tell Edwin that I love him. I want to scream it from a fucking mountain yet my mouth remains closed and the words remain unsaid. Edwin seems content with that, though.

"I'm still angry at you-"

"Obviously" he cuts me off, "I kept it from you and it was really fucking stupid and I'm sorry. But I promise it won't be that bad while I'm gone. I'm positive Simon will make you guys do a performance or two with us"

I nod, adding, "we can call each other all of the time, FaceTime, message. We'll be fine"

"We'll be fine" he repeats, his fingers making their way through my hair slowly.

His eyes dip into mine and we stare at each other for probably a solid three minutes, completely mesmerised, utterly fixated with each other.

"I love you" he repeats, "that is something I'm very sure of. I've been very sure of my love for you for a very long time. I'm not telling you so you have to say it back, because that's something you'll do when you're ready, but I'm telling you so you know"

"I love you" he repeats once again, "I love you so fucking much"

Unexpectedly, though it shouldn't have been, his lips connect with mine softly before pulling away.

My heart begins to pound roughly against the cage that is my chest. I lay backwards on the couch as he moves, hovering over me.

With a strong feelings of need running through my entire body, from my head, to my heart, and down toward my inner thighs, a thought occurs.

A year without sex. I'm surprised I haven't dropped dead yet.

His fingers gently tap my neck rhythmically,
and he softly moves my hair so that it's no longer laying across my chest but instead it's next to me.

The hair as it was being moved away gave me goosebumps.

His delicate touch moves from the sides of my head and down to my neck, out to my shoulders and down to my hands. He grabs my hands gently but with a tight enough grip so that if I tried to move, he'd easily be able to catch me.

He put them around his neck and then randomly paused, his eyes never leaving mine.

It's then that it hits me. For the first time in my life I feel safe. The only words he spoke were those meaningful three, but even they were light murmurs.

My heart is about to beat out of my chest as close my eyes and take a deep breath out.

He then kisses my shoulder, moving slowly upwards until he runs his lips on my skin towards my ear, but still, he doesn't quite make it that far.

I tilt my head and after a sharp inhale from him, he bites me gently.

It doesnt hurt though, it only manages to make me want him more.

While in this special moment, with his lips against my skin feeling causing all kinds of sensations, the only thing I can think about is how I'm going to make him feel as good as he is me. What I could do to make his heart pound.

A noise escapes my lips from the back of my throat and that easily causes him to grunt through his kiss.

"If you're not ready to do this" he speaks up, "you need to tell me because.. fuck... I'm losing control..."

I lightly chuckle, through another moan, being completely flustered in the moment, "I've never been more ready for anything in my life"

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my break isn't over but u deserve this for your patience w me. y'all are really the best. love u muchly.

also we were #1 in prettymuch and edwinhonoret the other day so thank you sm angels <3