We Don't Have a Choice (Killing Me Slowly Sequel) Lapidot AU

Chapter 21

I sat there staring out at the path Lapis just drove down, and I pulled my knees to my chest. I buried my face into my knees and let out a sob, and tears streamed down my face as I felt my nose start running. I sniffled and sobbed harder, now unable to control it. "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUCKK!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, thrashing my legs and slamming my fists onto the ground. I stared down at the ground and gritted my teeth, digging my fingers into the earth. She keeps leaving... she keeps disappearing... she never stays...

I shut my eyes tight and let out another sob, getting tired and overly stressed. "Peridot?" I heard Pearl's voice call softly. I didn't bother to turn around, so I just continued to stare at the ground blankly. I flinched as I felt a hand touch my shoulder and I just shut my eyes tightly again, feeling more hot tears spill out. "Wh-what just happened, Pearl? What did I do to deserve this?" I asked her in a shaky voice, finally looking up at her.

Pearl looked down at me with a sad expression on her face. She stared at me with her pale blue eyes for almost a whole minute. "Something's not right..." she muttered, then turning her head back to the house. "H-huh?" I was confused. "Peridot..." Pearl looked back over at me with a serious look. "Were you really telling the truth back there?" I furrowed my eyebrows and felt my chest burn. "Yes! And you're gonna explain to me what the fuck just happened!!" I demanded. Pearl tilted her head and peered at me confused. She leaned down, took me by the arm and pulled me up to my feet. "Come with me..."

We walked back to the house, my feet dragging in front of each other sluggishly. I looked back at the path one more time before Pearl pushed me into the small home. Pearl closed the door behind us, and turned around to look down at an unconscious Amethyst. Steven was still standing in awe in the kitchen, looking at me with wide eyes. Garnet bent over and picked up Amethyst bridal-style, carrying her to the couch. She set her down, and Amethyst's arm draped over the edge. "Okay so, once again, Amethyst told me that you two apparently had sex on the night of the booze party." Pearl explained. Amethyst said that?! Why would she say that?!

"Did she say this when she was drunk?" I asked. "Yes, but she also confirmed it the next morning when she was sober." she replied, crossing her arms. What?! "and you're saying that this never happened?" she asked in a skeptical tone. "Yes, Pearl! I would never do such a thing to Lapis, even if I was intoxicated." I explained. "And how could I believe you? You may not have remembered." Pearl said. I thought for a moment, and tried to remember any time that night I tried to get freaky with Amethyst in any way, but I honestly couldn't.

"Please trust me on this one, Pearl. I promise that I never did anything with Amethyst, and I would never hurt Lapis like this. She's already been hurt enough, and I only love her." I stated with a straight face the whole time, looking into Pearl's eyes. Pearl stared at me for what felt like forever, and it looked like she was starting to believe me. "She's telling the truth." Garnet piped up, causing both Pearl and I to turn around and look at her. "Well in that case, why would Amethyst make up something like that?" Pearl asked.

"I have no idea. What led up to it?" I asked her. "Well, I told her to quit flirting with you because you were already with Lapis, but then she claimed that you liked her back. I didn't believe her, so she told me that you guys supposedly 'banged' when I was upstairs and Vidalia was at the store." Pearl explained intently, shrugging. What?! Goddammit. "It sounds like she was just trying to make a point. She didn't want to further confirm the fact that Peridot doesn't feel the same way. So she decided to say something to jeopardize those unrequited feelings that all of us assumed." Garnet said. Hm. Makes sense. "But why? It doesn't make me like her any more." I said, raising an eyebrow. Garnet shrugged and crossed her arms.

"Well, we'll just have to wait for her to wake up to ask more questions." Pearl stated, walking into the kitchen. I sat on a stool behind the counter, staring off into space. I thought about the heartbroken expression Lapis had on her face back there, and the image was forever glued into my head. I felt another lump in my throat, and more hot tears waiting to spill out of my eyes any second. My hands were shaking, and they formed into fists. "Peridot?" I heard Steven's voice behind me. I stayed silent, and continued staring off into space.

"I'm really sorry this happened..." he said, sitting in the stool beside me. I sniffled and furrowed my eyebrows. "If there was anything I could do to bring her back, I would definitely do it." he stated, and I looked over at him. I sighed and unclenched my fists. "You're a sweet boy, Steven. But... I don't think you could do anything to fix this... 'cause neither can I." I replied, looking down. "Oh, Peridot... she's my sister... this is Lorielle we're talking about. She's just in a very vulnerable state right now... and she'll come back to her senses soon enough. Just give her time..." Steven explained, putting a hand on my shoulder.

I gave him a weak smile. "Thanks Steven... I sure hope you're right." the boy nodded, and walked off into his room. I looked back down at the counter, and just thought deeply about what he said. But for some reason, I feel like he was partly wrong about Lapis. She's vulnerable yes and yes she may come back but... things will never be the same again...

. . . .

I hadn't realized I fell asleep on the counter until I felt someone gently shaking me awake. "Hey...hey mom! MOM WAKE UP!!" a child voice yelled in my ear and I yelped and jumped up. "Pumpkin don't do that please..." I groaned, rubbing my ear. She just smirked in response, and looked over at Pearl. Pearl looked over at me with a serious expression, and I looked behind her. Amethyst was awake and holding an ice pack to her face. She looked up at me and nervously chuckled.

I grunted and jolted forward, but was cut off when Garnet and Pearl held me back by my arms. Amethyst slightly flinched, but then relaxed. "Why did you lie, Amethyst?" I asked, gritting my teeth. "Dude I seriously didn't think it would turn into something like this, Peri. I really am sorry..." she replied, holding her hands up defensively. "But why did you do it?!" I asked, raising my voice. "I... uh... " Amethyst had no words, and just looked down with flushed cheeks. "I was drunk?" she said in a high pitched voice, shrugging. "But you said it when you were sober too!!" I shouted, letting out a dry sob.

Amethyst only stared at me with a shameful expression, then looked away. I closed my eyes and balled my fists again, feeling so emotionally drained. "I... have to go... I'm gonna head back home." I said quietly, pulling from Pearl and Garnet's grip. I took Pumpkin's hand and opened the front door. "You could use my motorcycle if you need, Peridot." Pearl said. I nodded at her, and walked out the door glumly, gripping onto the child's small hand.