Criss: Okay from Alex. Dare for Stan. Hug Kenny till she's done asking questions.
Stan: Pft, easy *hugs Kenny*
Kenny: Stenny much?
Criss: OK question for Craig opinion on Tyde and Style
*Craig walks in flipping everyone off as usual* Sup
Criss: Opinion on Style and Tyde
Craig: Ok Style is Stan and Kyle what the hell is Tyde???
Cartman: AHAHAHA! It's Clyde and Token! AH! And I thought those black assholes were lame already! AHAHA!
Craig: *looking dully at Cartman* I don't see it. Token and Clyde are both too cocky. They wouldn't get along. That's just a doomed couple...
Kenny: Hah cock...
Kyle: Doomed couple? Like you and that Naomi chick?
Kenny: BUT YOU WERE SO HAPPY!
Craig: Damn, you guys are assholes*flips them off* I told you I don't do the long distance shit besides she's too girly.
Stan: At least Wendy and I aren't a doomed couple... *chuckles nervously*
Criss:Moving on Cartman say the first thing that pops in your mind when I say. "Unicorns are best friends with turtles."
Cartman: Inbred unirtles. Unicorns with massive shells that will rule the world and do my bidding. Together we'll exterminate all Jews! Muahahaha!
Kyle: Cartman that is the stupidest thing you have ever said.
Stan: Why would a unicorn have sex with a turtle...
Kenny: Because! The turtles know unicorns have big dicks! I mean in unicorn translation their wangs are as big as their horns! Damn Stan this is like kindergarden stuff!
Criss: Yes Kenny that makes total sense...
Stan: Kenny I'd appreciate it if you didn't scream so much! I'm right here. *is still hugging Kenny* How many more questions are there Wendy might get the wrong idea...
Cartman: Damn Stan you're such a pussy.
Criss: I think this is the last one. Kenny which is better cheese, pancakes, french toast, skittles or oreos.
Kenny: I've never really had french toast or pancakes. Cheese attracts rats at my house so that's out of the question.... *thinking* FUCKING SKITTLES!
Criss: Huh, I pictured you more as the Oreo type of guy.
Kenny: No I like tasting the rainbow. And kissing it and seeing unicorns and rainbows when I'm high... What were we talking about?
Criss: Okay Dare for Kyle. Poketrainer fangirl Dares Kyle to be Cartman's slave for no apparent reason.
Kyle: No fucking way in hell!
Stan: *still hugging Kenny* I triple dog dare you.
Kyle: I thought we were friends Stan!
Stan: Yeah and you think I like hugging Kenny?
Criss: Besides didn't you enjoy watching Cartman dress like a girl? If you don't do this Cartman's gonna be able to get out of his dares. And trust me the audience hates Cartman a lot more than you.
Kyle: *sighing* Fine, what do you want Cartman?
Cartman: Finally! I rather have Token as my slave but Kyle's even better! Get me some cheesy poofs slave!
Kyle:*growling* Fine. *mutters* How long do I have to do this?
Criss: Until someone dares you to do something else.
Stan: *lets go of Kenny* Damn that took forever! No offense dude but you smell like rat pee.
Kenny: You know I thought you could look past that!
Stan: You're being over dramatic again.
Kenny: *crossing arms* At least I don't smell as bad as Criss' breath.
Criss: *ignoring comment* Okay maskyfangirl has a question for Cartman. Why are you such a fucking racist bitchy douche bag.
Cartman: Eh! Whatever you fucking bitch! I don't give two rats asses about you or all the fucking beaners in this world! Kyle hunt that bitch down and bring her back so I can kick her skanky ass!
Kyle: How the hell am I supposed to find her?
Cartman: That's your problem!
Criss: I would interfere but a dare is a dare move along Kyle.
Kyle: Why did I agree to do this in the first place *sighs and gets out Ipad*
Criss: Ok from maskyfangril Stan Kyle are you aware that people make fan fictions about Style?
Stan: I kind of guessed that since apparently to Kenny we make a cute couple.
Kyle: What the hell is wrong with people! I don't like Stan! W'e're just FRIENDS!
Stan: I didn't know dating me was so bad.
Kyle: Dude! You know what I meant.
Stan: I know I just wanted to make you uncomfortable besides I have Wendy you need a giirlfriend.
Criss: Darkwolf2468 wants to know why Cartman hates being called by his first name.
Cartman: I just got used to being called Cartman.
Stan: Who started it?
Cartman: Kyle.
Kyle: No you threw a fit when we refused I had to slap you then you ran to your mom and she talked to principal Vicoria. Then Mr. Mackey forced us to call you that.
Cartman: Yeah what kind of bitchey question is that. Cartman sounds way cooler than Eric.
Criss: Ok Ghost_Wing dares Kenny to pick out a line from First Kiss by 30H!3 then Stan has to sing it back to Kyle.
Kenny: Easy I know what I want it to be! *singing in a high pitch girly voice* My first kiss went a little like this! *goes in for a kiss with Criss*
Criss: *Makes him kiss a fist* Don't even try it.
Kenny: Now Stan sing it to Kyle and kiss him!
Stan: WHAT?
Criss: You heard the man.
Stan: Do I have to do the kiss?
Kenny: Yup straight down to the high pitch.
Cartan: AHAHA! Gay!
Kyle: Shut up Cartman! Stan I'll allow it but this better be the last fucking time...
Criss: Come on then Stan! Tick Tock!
Stan: Shut up I'm gonna do it...
Kenny: *gets out camera*
Stan: *in a high pitch girly voice* My first kiss went a little like this! *grabs Kyle and is about to kiss him. Bumps foreheads with him* Fuck! *rubbing forehead* That hurt! That fucking hurt! Kyle!
Kyle:*rubbing forehead* Just shut up and let's get this over with.
Stan: I know already!
Criss: Come on Kyle it's just a kiss come on!
Stan: Shut up! Criss! I swear!
Kyle: *gets out of view gets behind them*
Cartman: AHAHA! HA! The hippie actually has a back bone!
Criss: You shut up Stan!
Stan: Oh yeah! You wanna go! *gets fists up* *is kissed on the cheek by Kyle.*
Kyle: Gross! That's a little how my first kiss went. but it was with a cute girl.
YOU ARE READING
Ask The South Park GangClosed for Requests
FanfictionDare or Ask the South Park characters anything! And I mean ANY South Park character you'd like so yeah. (like, goth kids, or even SP grown ups!) I'm adding my O.C and her siblings in this too so some of this might not make sense because of reference...