Cold Hearted (Kris Bryant)

Daddy Issues

Kris

Kehlani and I finish our power point extremely quickly and even did the extra credit assignment. I've quickly learned that Kehlani is a border line genius and works very very quickly. She will always go above and beyond in her school work never cutting corners or taking the easy way out. I couldn't even keep up, but I think we did good with the power point. I did my best to help her and I think we have some interesting points in there to share with the class.

And since there was extra time left over after finishing early and having no class for the week we got to relax for a little. We go over our presentation a few times and kind of hang out in her room. I look around and sit to myself careful not to make her upset, because with me it doesn't take much. She wasn't messy per-say, but she her room was busy which made me anxious so I promised to help her organize it a little. She liked how I had my place set up so I was going to help her declutter and simplify her room.

"How do you know where anything is" I ask helping her pick up papers.

"I'm a organized mess" she claims and I laugh.

"I'll say" I admit.

I pick up a paper and go to hand it to her but stop. I see the name "Kehlani Piazza" on it and I let out a gasp. I never saw her last name until now and I'm starting to think there's a reason for that. 

"Your last name is Piazza" I ask her and she stops. She slowly turns to me as her eyes get stormy.

"How did you know that" she whispers.

"It's on this paper I was handing to you" I defend. "Are you related to Mike Piazza" I wonder.

"Please don't say that name" she begs as she closes her eyes.

"So you are" I ask.

"Only by blood" she claims and I look at her weird.

"What do you mean? Mike was a incredible man" I insist.

"Michael was and is a shitty human being who is worshiped for his accomplishments and for what he gave up to achieve them. He was dawned a hero for abandoning his family to focus on a sport that many people have played. He was never held accountable for his inability to figure out that there's more to life than baseball" she yells. It falls silent as she stares at me.

"He's your dad" I piece together.

"He's dead to me" she snarls.

"How" I challenge.

"He walked out on me and my sister and my mom leaving us with nothing. Not a penny to our name... even though it was the same as his. He took everything from us and never spoke to us ever again. My mom had cancer and he didn't even help take care of her or me and my sister when she was in the hospital. Didn't wish her well or try to help her out. Didn't give us a dime to help pay for treatments that could have saved her life or a ounce of attention to his real family and not his baseball one. All he cared about was playing baseball and getting sponsors without having any consequences. He was no man, he was a coward who couldn't handle the responsibilities of being a husband and a father and a athlete" she claims.

"Why did he leave" I ask.

"Because that's what athletes do. They see their family as a problem, a obstacle in the way to the destination they designed without them. The wife is a distraction, once he thought she was more important than the game of baseball he got scared. He said it was weak for a man to let a woman to have so much power over him. And the kids are a waste of valuable time. Time that could be spent shooting sponsorships or making ESPN videos or working out in the gym. He had to choose between family and baseball and he chose baseball" she claims.

"How could he leave your mom if she was sick" I wonder.

"Those types of details don't matter. He didn't care about any of that.

I was eight when he left... I was just a little girl when he left. He was my hero, he taught me everything there is to know about baseball. He brought me to games and would always talk about how his greatest achievements were me and my sister and that there's nothing he could do that would top that. I met incredible baseball players and saw some of the greatest games ever played. I loved him more than anything and he loved me too. At the beginning he was a great father and he showed me how to recognize greatness. I saw it in him and I see it in you too. That's why you scare me.

But he couldn't handle being a family man and a athlete. They never can. So he ultimately chose baseball and all of the sudden love wasn't enough. My mom only made it a few years after he left before she passed away. He wouldn't even help pay for the funeral or bother to show up. He couldn't even answer my calls anymore. He had all but given up on us and it was the shittiest feeling in the world. To think that I'm not as important as a bat and a ball. That I was unwanted and left without a parent.

I don't believe in true love, for there's so much more to love than affection. So many things that can break up love. Ultimately someone ends up getting hurt in the end" she shrugs.

"Your dad... he was a ass hole" I start and she nods in agreement. "If he gave up on you then he obviously didn't know what he's doing. No one deserves to go through what you did and I'm sorry it happened like that. But you have to know that I'm not going to hurt you" I insist.

"That's not really up to you... is it" she asks. "Kris, you and I both know you're here for three years before you're gone. Then what? I'm still here and I get left again? You figure out that there's something out there that's better than me and I become a afterthought. I don't want to go through that again. Like it or not you're a baseball player and that requires some things from you you might not be willing to do. And I prefer to be left out of it" she claims.

"I'm nothing like your father" I defend.

"No. But you are a baseball player" she reminds me and I sigh.

"I'm sorry you feel this way" I insist.

"Yeah Kris, me too" she agrees.