Cold Hearted (Kris Bryant)

Alright

Kris

The second semester starts, and as fate would have it I have three of my five classes with Kehlani. I mean we had the same major so we would end up doing a lot more of the same. But we only had one class together last semester and now we have three. Which I am perfectly okay with because she's finally letting me in and I'm loving what I'm seeing.

And I'm also falling in love with her. I was falling hard and fast and whatever else that made it hard to be able to do so. It's no secret. Well, to anyone but her. She doesn't know how to be loved. How to feel loved. But I was hoping I can teach her. I was hoping she would let me help out a little. Be there for her like I have been but it not be so forced. I wanted to hold her in my arms and kiss her soft lips. I wanted to be everything she needs me to be and more. And I hope she will one day love me too.

After a long bio 201 lecture Kehlani and I decide to go chill out in the library. We didn't have a lot to work on, with school just starting up again and all. But I find any excuse to hang out with her.

"I'm going to tell you something, and I don't want you to freak out on me" she claims and I raise a eyebrow.

"Alright" I say slowly, not really sure of what was going to pass her lips. It could honestly be anything at this point.

"I took up a art class this semester" she admits and I smile really big. Like huge.

"No way" I gasp.

"I did" she smiles back.

"Lani that's amazing" I insist. "Do you like it?"

"I've had one class" she giggles.

"Yeah, but still. I think it's great that you're doing something you actually enjoy for once" I admit.

"I get to watch you chase your dreams, I figured I should try my hand in mine" she claims.

"I want to help" I insist.

"What do you know about art" she wonders.

"Nothing. But I know a lot about dreaming. About wanting to do something no matter what people say or think. Although usually I'm not the person in my own way" I admit.

"I'm working on it" she defends.

"What made you change your mind? Because I wasn't even sure that was possible honestly" I insist.

"You did" she says with a small smile and I freeze.

"I did what... exactly" I ask and she rolls her eyes.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you. You're a smart boy" she insists.

"I'm clueless when it comes to you" I admit.

"It's hard for me to explain, because you make me feel things I've never felt before" she claims.

"Like... good things" I ask.

"I think so" she admits and I laugh.

"Do you... do you like me" I question consciously.

"Asking questions like that is dangerous" she warns.

"I think I can handle it" I admit.

"Just because you can handle it doesn't mean I should tell you my thoughts. They're complicated and deep and sometimes scary" she explains.

"So you do like me" I smile and she shakes her head.

"It's more than that" she insists. "You're a great guy Kris, amazing. But you cannot be attached to me."

"It's a little too late for that" I admit as she giggles.

"Why do you put up with me? I've given you a inch and you turned it into a mile. I constantly tell you no but you always hear yes. I'm not worth what all you put into me" she claims.

"You are" I argue.

"How can you possibly think that" she questions.

"You're like a rare flower. You like flowers, so you know what I'm talking about. The rarest and most spectacular flower that sticks out the most in the entire garden... that's you. Anyone with eyes can see that you're beautiful but no one understands why. Most just look never getting any closer than that. And on your stem you have thorns. You put them there over the years to keep people away. Built them up to keep anything and everything away. No one can change your mind because you're always going to be this beautiful rare flower. Everyone who tries to get close gets hurt and you likes it that way. It's what keeps you pretty.

But I think your beauty is worth the pain. I don't mind picking you because it hurts sometimes, I've gotten stuck with a thorn or two, but you also help me heal. Help me see things for how they are and not how I want them to be. You checked up on me when I was sick and helped me with homework. You opened up to me even though it wasn't easy for you. Even though you wanted to hate me, you can't. And for some sick and twisted reason I love that about you. That through everything you went through you let out of all people, me, into your life.

That's got to mean something" I insist.

"It does. But I don't know what it means" she claims.

"Why can't you just admit that there's something special going on between us" I ask.

"Because if I say it then it makes it real" she insists.

"And what's so wrong with that" I ask.

"I can't get attached to you only for you to leave me" she defends.

"We can't control this type of stuff. Your feelings, the more you suppress them the harder it is for you to keep going feeling the way you do. Just let go" I beg.

"I've been holding on since I was eight. I had to be the rock of my family for the longest time and I haven't been able to let go of that. Those thorns I have don't just fall off" she explains.

"But things change" I argue.

"Things never change. Maybe they evolve or adapt... but things don't change" she insists.

"You've changed me. The way I see myself and the way I see the world. The way I see you" I say.

"I'm sorry Kris... I can't say it" she whispers. I see a tear forming in her eyes and let out a long sigh. I walk over and wrap my arms around her as she rests her head on my chest. "I'm so sorry" she says softly.

"It's alright. Everything is going to be alright."