Cold Hearted (Kris Bryant)

Howdy Partner

Kris

It was now October and San Diego was turning out to be really pretty as it turns from summer to fall. I didn't come here for the scenery but it sure was nice.

I walk to my biology 101 class and sit in the back of the auditorium. I see Kehlani down at the front but I ignore her like have been for the past couple of days. I was still pretty pissed at her but I'm sure that feeling would pass sooner or later. I know that she means something to me and only time will tell how long I'll be able to avoid her like this. She drove me absolutely insane but my heart still wanted her. That was the most annoying part.

I was just upset because she knew I liked her and it felt like she used me. If she didn't really mean that stuff then she should have stopped me. But she was just as into it as I was so I know she knew what she was doing.

It just hurts, to like someone and them not have a care for your feelings. The way she disregarded me and the idea of us, its painful. She always says that I'm the dangerous one but she's the one messing around with feelings. I hardly see how I'm the problem here.

"Kris" someone says and I get snapped out of my thoughts. I look up to see Kehlani staring at me as was most of the class.

"What happened" I ask.

"The partner project... you're with Kehlani" the professor says and I swallow hard. Of course I would be with her. Who else would it be?

He explains what the project is and what we needed to do. We wouldn't have class all next week so we could work on it one on one, lucky me.

I grab my things and head to the door. I see Kehlani standing there and I wanted so bad to be mad at her. I wanted her to stop looking so good so I could just ignore her, stop staring at her and wonder what a life with her would be like. I wanted to yell at her for breaking my heart in the way she did, but I just couldn't. I looked into her glass ball eyes and I broke easily.

"Hey" she says softly. The most compassionate I've ever seen her.

"Howdy partner" I say and she kind of laughs.

"I don't know why he put us together. I guess he thinks we're friends or something" she shrugs.

"What are we" I ask and she looks up at me.

"Broken" she admits.

"Yeah. I guess we're not doing so hot" I agree.

"Listen, I just want to apologize for what I did. Just because I feel strongly about some things doesn't mean I have the right to treat you the way I did. That was really indecent and selfish and just plain wrong. Even though I was intoxicated it was no excuse to take advantage of the fact that you liked me" she claims.

"Like" I correct and she giggles. "And you're forgiven" I tell her and she smiles.

"Really" she asks.

"Yeah. We all make mistakes, it's a part of evolution, right" I tease.

"Precisely" she agrees.

"So do you want to go to study hall and figure out how to do this project" I ask.

"Do I have much of a choice" she teases and I just shake my head.

We walk over to study hall and she pulls out a laptop. I see her home screen is Citi Field where the Mets play and I smile.

"I thought you hated baseball" I say.

"Players. I hate baseball players. The sport itself is wonderful. I love the competivness and the history and technicality. But that gets lost in the people holding the bat" she explains.

"Not every baseball player is-" I start.

"I know not ever player is a self righteous ass hole. But fame and fortune, that stuff gets in your head. It makes you do stupid things and it's so easy to get lost in the lies and the game. You're no longer a name, you're a number and you act like whichever number it is they give to you. No matter who you are or how good you'll be, you'll always be a part of the system and not a part of real life" she shrugs.

"What makes you think I'll be famous" I ask her.

"I don't know a lot about you, but I know enough" she claims.

"Listen. I'm here because I love this game. You're right, I wouldn't be here if I didn't get a full ride. I was drafted out of high school and I could have easily gone somewhere, but I didn't because I'm not ready yet. You obviously know a lot more about life than I do so I had to come to college to learn for myself. And I'm evolving and getting better but I'm still learning. Baseball will always be my passion, but it will never be my life. I know there are things far greater than this game. But for right now that's what I'm focused on" I explain.

"You don't get it" she says. "There's so many great baseball players. So many records there are that you'll try to break. So many people who will want to be you. And you think you can stay humble, keep your head above water so you don't drown out there.

But that world you're chasing after, the one you'll inevitably live, it's hard. It's not just about baseball, it's never just about baseball" she explains.

"How do you know this stuff" I ask and she turns back to her laptop.

"Don't worry about it. Let's get this PowerPoint started."

She types "properties of life" on the first slide and we start to research.

We silently sit together and go through the Internet searching for credible sources for our project. It wasn't a uncomfortable silence either. I think we both moved on finally and we're back to her acting like she hated me just like the good old times. But we end up getting a lot done for just a few hours together even though I really shouldn't be surprised.

"We makes a pretty good team" I admit.

"Don't get attatched" she warns.

"Are you ever going to let me in" I wonder.

"Probably. If it is anyone, it'll be you. But not any time soon" she assures me.

"And what happens when I get tired of chasing after you" I question.

"The same exact thing that would happen if I let you in in the first place. You're going to leave never giving me another thought and I am going to be continuing on with my life as is" she claims.

"Someone like you will never disappear from my mind" I insist.

"Trust me... it's possible."