Cold Hearted (Kris Bryant)

Possibilities

Kris

We had the first home game of the season at the end of February and I was feeling great. The team was really fun to be on and we were pretty good. This was my first year of collegiate baseball so I wasn't really expecting anything. Just to do my best and see where that gets me. I wasn't like my friend Bryce who left Vegas and went straight to the majors and started raking. There's always room for improvement and I wanted to use this time to find myself and my game.

And as far as where I found myself, I found myself falling in love with a girl I shouldn't in ways I couldn't imagine. And it's not because of who she isn't but because of who she is. She's beautiful inside and out, and she only shows me that. And although she is insistent that we will never be together, I don't see how it would end up any other way.

And as for today, I was super excited to be playing under the Friday night lights here at home in front of a big crowd. I asked Kehlani to come and she said maybe which is actually pretty impressive because it's usually a hard no. But as I take the field I keep my eyes peeled.

Eventually I see her come up into the stands and sit in the back. I had a lot of friends come out to see me play, but she's the only one I cared about. I know she's skeptical of getting back into baseball, she still had a lot of pain filled feeling towards it. But she loves the game, she knows it better than anyone out here and I can tell she misses it.

She sits down by herself and turns out to the field. Once she finds me she smiles big and I smile back. I feel my heart skip a beat as she gives a little wave.

Someone hits my back breaking up this great moment and I see my good buddy Taylor standing there.

"Your girl come out to see you" he asks.

"She's not my girl" I sigh.

"She's all you talked about at the tournament last weekend" he reminds me.

"It's complicated" I explain.

"Mmmm I don't like complicated so I'm not going to ask any questions" he says and I laugh.

"Thank god."

The game gets started and we were doing pretty well. We were no Vanderbilt or Tennessee, but we were good in our own right.

I finish the game going 1 for 2 with a double and two walks. I ended up scoring the winning run and start my college career here at home with a win. After the game I go home and take a shower. I rest up after a long game and just think to myself. I think about how I've always wanted to do what I did today and how it felt so great.

As I lay there I hear what sounds like something hitting my window. I ignore it at first but then it happens again. So I get up and go to my window to see whats going on. When I look down I see Kehlani there throwing little rocks up at my window with some crazy accuracy. So I open it up and stick my head out.

"Romeo's Romeo, where for art thou Romeo" I yell and she just shakes her head.

"Now I want to go back to my room" she teases.

"No no. Don't" I beg.

"Don't worry, I'm not. I'm not exactly on the best terms with my roommate and I decided to go for a walk. Figured that if you came with I wouldn't get harassed as much" she insists.

"Of course. I'll be down in a sec" I promise.

I grab my phone and my keys before running downstairs. I find her outside my door and I look her over like I always do when I first see her.

"Where are we going" I wonder.

"Out" she claims. 

"What did Sam do this time" I question. It's always something with those two.

"She's just a shitty person. And that's coming from me" she chuckles.

"You're not a shitty person" I insist.

"I'm not a nice person either" she reminds me.

"I don't think that's true. I think you're sweet" I claim.

"What else" she smirks.

"I think you're the smartest person I know. And I know the only reason you come off as cold hearted is because you know too much. And not about the stuff in these textbooks or even on this campus. You know about life and what it's really about. You can have fun and mess around but still know the true value of what you're doing. And I think it's the cutest thing ever when you want to be mad at me and you can't" I explain.

"If I didn't know any better I would think that you love me" she jokes.

"Well I do" I admit and she stops walking. I turn in front of her as she stares up at me.

"No you don't" she insists.

"I do. I love everything about you. I love the way you listen to classical music when you study. I love how much you smile when you talk about art. I love the way you smile when our eyes meet. I love when you snort when you laugh too hard. I love that you know so much about baseball and you're not afraid to put me in my place. I love that you wanted so bad to hate me but you can't.

Because you love me too" I say.

She stares up to me as she shows tears in her eyes. I easily catch one before wiping it on my shirt. I cup her face as she just stares at me.

"Remember when we first met and I told you not to get attached because I can never mean to you what you wanted me to" she asks softly.

"Yeah. I still have that note" I admit.

"I said that because you were never supposed to fall in love with me" she claims.

"I did, I still am and I don't plan on stopping any time soon" I promise.

"I can't-" she starts.

"You can love me. You do love me" I insist.

"I can't say it" she finishes.

"That's okay" I say.

"It's really not. You are the best person I know. I think of only my sister above you and even then it's close. And I always knew that you were going to be the one to break me. But I don't want you to get attached to me and love me then leave me" she explains.

"I'm never going to leave you" I insist.

"You don't get that you're saying these things and you have no control over it. You're making promises you can't keep" she warns.

"Sometimes life isn't black or white, yes or no. Sometimes it's I don't know or maybe. Possibly. Possibly is good" I explain.

"I can't live my life based off a possibly" she insists.

"Life is nothing but a bunch of possibilities. Just as the possibility of me falling in love with you is now the reality" I say as she lets out a long sigh.

"Well can you un-love me" she asks and I laugh.

"No. And even if I could I wouldn't" I claim. She lets out a over dramatic sigh as she smiles up to me.

"Fine. I guess you can love me" she teases.

"Perfect."