Heya. So a few weeks ago I had a nightmare about my crush rapping me and it was creating a lot of anxiety for me. One of my copping methods I use if writing so I wrote down my dream.
🔞W A R N I N G🔞
If you are sensitive to rape or any for of sexual harassment, please do not read this because it's kinda graphic.
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It was just a date... with the guy I've had a crush on since November. The night of May 21st- Victoria Day 2018. What I thought was going to be one of the best nights of my life, thus far.
He asked me to the movies. I was ecstatic. I said yes. Deadpool 2 had come out three days before. The showing was at about three. We watched the two hour film. It was good, I guess. Comedic like the last.
Now it was five. My curfew was six.
He asked if I'd just like to spend the rest of the night at his place. Six months of liking him. I agreed. We bussed back to his house. It was nice. He asked what I wanted to do. We decided on watching spider-man homecoming, so we went to the basement.
I remember about a half hour in. I made a comment about Peter Parker (played by Tom Holland).
"Ugh, Peter Parker is so cute! Almost as cute as you..." I trail off. Six months of liking him.
His arm was around my shoulder. My head was resting on his shoulder chest area.
I look up to him.
He kissed me.
I kiss back.
I mean after all, six months of liking him.
Eventually, I try to back away but he doesn't let me. "What are yo-" I try to speak, but he pushes his lips back on mine. "Sto-" He won't let me. His lips start to move to my neck. I've heard that kissing this particular area of the body, usually feels pleasurable when kissed like this... It didn't.
It hurt. He bite, nibbled. "Get off me stop!" I try to move him. He had very strong upper body strength, I new this already. He pushes me down on the couch. He's on top of my body. Pushing his hips on mine. He sits up for a second to remove his shirt. I take this opportunity to try and leave. He tightly grips my shoulders and pushes me back down. "STO-" he cuts me off again my pushing his lips on mine once more.
His hands are pinning down my wrists, but they start to move. They move under my shirt and try to remove it. I try to kick, but that just results in a strike to the face. He uses that opportunity to take on my shirt fully. I'm now exposed in my black bra and black leggings.
His lips trail lower, past my neck. Shoulders. Chest. He managed to keep me pinned down no matter what though. No matter how hard I struggled. I can feel his cold hands go to remove my leggings. I whine even more. My breathing increase even faster, if that was even possible.
He doesn't listen why would he. He starts to unbuckle his belt and remove his jeans. That's when the tears start to come. "Please stop, don't do this stop. Stop what are you doing, please!!!"
I shout and shout but he doesn't care. He continues to remove my leggings and underwear. He had his left hand holding my arms above my head. He uses his right to position himself against me. My tears are hot on my burning cheeks. I remember feeling them so vividly. He starts to force himself inside of me. I'm- I was, a virgin.
It hurt it hurt so fucking bad.
I yelled in pain.
People typically says sex is so pleasurable, so lovely. Well it wasn't. It was painful and forceful and cold. But at the same time tears were boiling my face. He was really cold. I swear even his sweat felt cold. All I was thinking was thank god I still have my bra on.
He kept going and going and going. I kept yelling and whining and crying.
Because it was my first time, there was blood. A surprising amount of blood.
Even through all the pain and screams, I could tell he was about to finish. He finished half inside of me, half on me. It was so indescribably disgusting. I could feel the vomit peaking up my throat.
He got off, put on his pants, and almost in sync, his friends came down the stairs.
Second to rape me was my best friends ex- of course. The second time was just as bad as the first. More swollen and bulging though; less blood. He even chocked me. His hands were more room temperature though. I can still feel them wrapped around my throat, pressing.
Then the last one, my ex best friends old fuckbuddy.
This was the most painful. He didn't mind hitting me. Or putting his hands over my mouth. Pulling at me. The last two didn't even kiss me, just went straight to the full on sex. He then through me from the large couch to the floor. I can still hear the thump on my body dropping onto the wooden floor. I can still feel the ache on my ribs colliding with the fall. I was left shaking in a cold sweat. I hurt so bad that I became numb.
I could hear them walking up the stairs, laughing. Laughing. They were laughing. I hear the click of the door locking. It felt like they were recording me but I don't know. I was motionless after the first. I felt like I was just there. Lying. Practically dead almost.
Hot tears continue to flow from my eyes. I didn't think I had any left. My voice was so torn and scratchy from all my yelling.
I wanted to be dead. But I know I couldn't, I had to get out.
I throw on my torn shirt, my underwear and leggings. I put back on my socks.
I try to stand. I groan as the throbbing pain feels like stabbing knives twisting my inner thighs open. I try to at least sit up. The pain is unbearable. After a few minutes I'm back on the couch. I spot my purse, I grab it and wrap it around my shoulders.
I slowly attempt to limp up the stairs. I grab a bobby-pin from my previously did-up hair. I manage to pick the simple lock.
Somehow I know the three are in his room. I bolt for the front door and I run. I run and run and run and run and run and I don't stop. I don't know if they're behind me. If they even noticed I'm gone. If they even care. The pain gets worse and worse with ever step. The tears are still flowing from my eyes. My legs have never been so indescribably soar. I run and run and run even more. Before I know it, I realize where I am. Southdown and Erin Mills. I slow down only a bit. My speed is still very fast though. I get to that bridge highway area, and that's when it felt my soul leaving my body. My body comes to a holt. It feels like my head is moving in circles. My face feels like it's melting. My legs feel detached from my body. I fall to the edge of the road. I can hear the crack. It sounded as if my skull had cracked. I feel my eyes flutter shut. Everything goes completely blank at the sound of honking cars.
I know this is pretty shit but I personally like my detail in this piece, no matter what I'm describing. And I know no one will real this anyways so I'm actually kind of excited to publish this. Well I don't really know how to sign off soo...... I hope you enjoyed and, have a good day:)
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