I am NOT your fan | EXO CHEN

18. The accused

Song: Gift - MeloMance✨

'Things that I've always known have changed somewhere. Exciting things that seem unrelated to me are happening to me. It feels like a gift prepared just for me. It starts small but it grows bigger and bigger. Even those ordinary days become special in the moment.' 

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Jongdae gently shook his head and searched my eyes deeply. "What should I do about you?" He mumbled under his breath. Again with his thumb, he wiped the tears that were flowing its way down my cheek. I never expected myself to feel so relieved after revealing that one thing I've never once talked about - the truth about my mother.

Everyone around me thinks that the people I live with now are my parents, but in truth, they are not my biological parents. The ones I call 'mom' and 'dad' now are in fact my maternal aunt and uncle, which is my mother's sister and her husband. They were nice to take me in after my mother passed on.

To be accurate, they moved into the same house with me after my mom left and raised me ever since then. For taking care of everything for me because I was only a clueless minor back then, feeding me meals and being my guardian at school, I cannot be more grateful. At least they're not the evil kind who goes ordering me around to do shit or try to steal the assets that mum left behind for me. They're nice, only indifferent sometimes because work keeps them up all the time. I never asked why they never had children either, but living with them made the answer obvious. They were both too career-minded to start a family.

"I'm okay," I said to Jongdae and took his hand away from my teary cheeks. I was going to let go of his hand when he reached for my hand again. I looked between our hands and him a few times, trying to interpret the situation, but as I wondered blankly, he pulled me towards him and encircled me into a hug. My heart skipped a thousand times as I found myself leaning into his chest, taking in the same masculine scent mixed from his cologne.

I could stay under his arms forever.

"You're okay... You're okay now," he said.

There weren't any more words between us and that sentence alone was enough to comfort me for a long, long time. I didn't feel as hurt and haunted by my dark memories as I used to be, and this was because of him. Because he's here... with me, and I like this feeling so much.

My feelings... I'm getting stirred up now and I'm aware of it. But should it be this way?

I pulled away from his embrace and cleared my throat loudly for him to hear. No, I should draw a clear line between the two of us.

Jongdae backed away and plumped into the empty chair next to me. "I'm really sorry for what I asked. I know I crossed the line," he said.

"No, I'm glad I could finally say it. It's been inside of me for the longest time ever, and to say it to a...erm, a friend... it makes me feel much better."

I did it, I drew the line. He's a friend!

"O, yeah... I'm your friend... yeah," Jongdae pointed out too and I flashed him a little smile in return. "Hey, oh my god, you're bleeding." He took my hand into his and examined it very carefully. My entire body burned up the moment our hands touched again.

Gosh, I really need to get myself under control.

"I'm fine! It doesn't hurt at all," I lied blatantly and kept my hands to myself again. He stubbornly reached out for my hand again and gently pressed on the area that had reddened. "Ahhh!" I whimpered in the end.