I am NOT your fan | EXO CHEN

46. Love that let's go

Song: Love that let's go - Hannah Montana ✨

'It's time to move on and even though I'm not ready, I've got to be strong and trust where you're heading. Even though it's not easy, right now the right kind of love is...
a love that lets go.'

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I blinked more to let the remaining tears run out my eyes. My heart was still aching from the dark memory etched in my mind.

I miss her so much.

I blinked again and sniffed back my mucus, trying to focus on where I was now. Is this heaven now? Am I really dead?

It felt a bit too real to say that this was the afterlife. Then, glancing down and around, I found myself tugged in bed, enclosed in a room unfamiliar to me. Only when I heard the equipment beeping right beside me, my heart rate picked up and my muscles tensed up - I knew I hadn't left the hospital.

And why am I still here?

I wanted to jump out of bed when someone suddenly leaned in and held my hand. I looked to the side and saw Jongdae there by my side, looking back at me with concerned eyes. With his other hand, he stroked my head and tugged my hair strands neatly behind so that they weren't in my face.

"You're safe here with me. Just rest," he assured me softly and sat back into his chair by my bed.

Without responding, I blinked as if it was the only thing I knew to do. I was confused and quite surprised at myself for staying so calm. I thought I would freak out again knowing that I hadn't escaped this hellhole. Another tear fell out from the outer corner of my eye, not from fear or sadness, but from relief. To see him again, to have him by my side, it was the best comfort I could ask for.

So it was him... he was my safe ground.

Then I suddenly jerked up, remembering the reason I came here in the first place.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened to you?" I forced the words out of my dry throat, reaching for him to check he wasn't hurt anywhere.

"Are you in a position to ask me that? Look who's the one in bed!" He nagged me, but I was busy checking him for injuries.

At least he looks healthy now, thank god.

When I noticed his forearm got bandaged, I nervously pulled him in to take a closer look. "You're hurt."

He gently rubbed against his bandage and shook his head. "This is nothing, it's just a little scratch across. I'm really okay."

"What happened to you?" I frowned.

"It was a minor car accident. My manager was driving when someone knocked into us, but nobody's severely hurt. I didn't have to come to the hospital for this little scratch either... I only followed my manager here because he wanted to check the bump on his head. Everything's fine now, so don't worry."

Upon hearing that, I fell back into bed, exhaling a big breath as my biggest worry was finally off my chest.

"So... how did I get here?" I spoke after some silence passed.

"You don't remember? You passed out in the middle of the hallway. The doctor said you were having a panic attack."

I bit my lip, apologetic about what happened to me instead.

"Rosie," Jongdae inched closer. "This is not the first time you had one?"

"H-How did you know?"