I am NOT your fan | EXO CHEN

4. You again

Song: Starry Night - MAMAMOO ✨

'Nothing changed, each day is the same. But still, I wait for tomorrow.'

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"I can't... I'm getting nauseous..." I rubbed against my own chest. 

Mel grabbed my shoulders immediately and postured me upright. "You feeling okay?" She asked, and I cast her a worried look, pouting for the billionth time today. 

"I don't want to go in alone!" I whined and held onto her.

"Come on Rose, you need to go in already!" She rambled when I didn't want to take my hands off her arms. From morning until now, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and it was wrecking me. A week has passed since the music show and today is the day of my audition.

My biggest fear was failing the audition. Over the past few days, my hopes had gradually built up that it might shatter me if things didn't go the way I want. I simply didn't want to handle rejection.

"Rosie, you'll be just fine!" She squeezed my arms as a boost of encouragement before pushing me towards the door that says 'waiting room'.

"Can't you just come in with me?" I pleaded again but she shook her head. 

"You and I both know I can't. Now go in already."

I hugged her once more and took a deep breath to calm myself down. I didn't think I would be this nervous, I guess I underestimated my love for music and composing. 

"Okay, this is it," I said to myself. Without looking back this time, I bravely turned the knob and walked through the door.

...

"I don't want to be an idol," I confessed when the interviewers asked me to begin. There were 5 of them, and 4 were males. All of them raised their eyes and looked at me with doubt.

"Then why are you here?" The male interviewer on the extreme right questioned me.

"I want an interview for something else." It was a bold request, I get it. But I could only continue if they were willing to hear me out. Either that or I have to walk out the door this instant...

"And what is it, exactly?" The only female interviewer, out of the 5 asked. Okay, bait taken.

I inhaled a breath of confidence. "I want to be a composer and make music. I want to produce my own work and let people hear my music. I always-"

"Any past experiences?" She cut me off. I frowned slightly when I started getting a feeling that this was going downhill.

"...No," my voice turned weaker.

The female interviewer leaned towards the colleague beside her and whispered, quite loudly, "did you say that Jungwon scouted her here?"

I shifted uncomfortably, knowing that I shouldn't wait around to hear them reject me instantly. "Let me prove myself, please?" I made my request again.

When all they did was deadpan at me, I quickly searched around for any musical instrument in the room, and thank god, I saw a piano. Without permission, I walked over briskly and plopped down on the seat. The itchy thrill of playing piano became all familiar to me again. With ease, I recalled a favourite work of my own and began playing on the piano.

"So what did you play?" One of the male interviewers asked when I stopped myself after two verses.

"Just something I remembered," I walked back to the centre of the interview room.