I am NOT your fan | EXO CHEN

47. Jealousy

Song: Senorita - (G)I-DLE ✨

'Come closer to me, hold me tighter, I want to know about you. I fell in love with you, but I don't know if it's true, I just love you so.'

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"What are you doing tomorrow?" Jongdae asked me.

"I'm going to the North Carnival with Mel. Why?"

"Why do you think? I wanted to ask you out," he shrugged, "but I guess you're not free then."

~~~

That's right, I remember him asking me about it. So did Jongdae appear at the Carnival because he wanted to intercept my original date with Mel?

"Hold on," I squinted my eyes at him. "Why were you there anyway?"

"I-Is that even important?" Jongdae shot up from his chair, half flustered and half annoyed.

"Yeah, of course it's important," a smile crept up my face.

"That's not the point, Rosie!" He sighed. "Forget it, there's no point talking about it anymore. I'm not here to interfere with your love life in the first place."

"Minho wasn't supposed to be there," I confessed. "I didn't know about it, Mel set me up. Even though, at first I did try to give Minho a chance."

Jongdae faced away, expressing his disinterest, but I quickly reached for his hand. This pair of hands is so precious and there's no way I'm letting it go, I thought as I gently caressed it.

"I thought I was determined to forget you, but I couldn't do it. The whole time I was with him, I only kept wishing that he was you. I missed you so much that I couldn't stand being with another guy," I sighed.

"So I told him I had to go, and he hugged me when I walked away because he didn't want me to leave. I guess that's what you saw, but the hug really isn't what you think it is."

I got off the bed and in front of where he stood, lifting my head so that I could gaze into his sparkly eyes. He was already waiting for me to continue my next line.

"I'm sorry it took so long for me to say this, Jongdae. For making you wait, for walking away each time, for hurting you and saying horrible things that I don't mean at all, I'm really, really sorry. Again and again, I made mistakes that cannot be undone. After all that happened, I know I'm super unworthy of your love. I know that, I'm aware of how selfish I am right now, but I don't want to back off anymore." I took in a deep breath, confidently looking back as he searched deep in my eyes.

"Listen up, Jongdae. If there's one person who would be my boyfriend, it's you. There's only one person I like, and that person is you. Whatever happens, I'm not giving up on you. Even if you decide to push me away now, I'm not giving up."

After finally expressing myself, I put on a hearty and confident smile. "This is my answer to you, Jongdae."

"Who said I was going to push you away?" His voice turned soft and vulnerable. The face of jealousy had worn off, and he looked forgiving.

Is this a green light?

I took a step closer toward him and tiptoed, enough to reach up and peck him on his lips. My own heart fluttered when our lips touched and I shyly retreated.

How bold of you, Rosie. He didn't even give you consent!

I instantly regretted when I noticed he stood frozen. Was I too direct? Should I not have done it? Did I just invade his private space?