Anxiety [Muke af]

Twenty-eight

Michael's lips look so dark and cute and I just wanna put him in my pocket and... I need to calm down...

"What are we going to do for Michael's birthday?"

"Isn't it in like... two months?" 

Luke looked at Ashton, who had his back turned to him, throwing a stone into the pond. 

Ashton and Luke had grown quite close over these past couple of weeks. 

Ashton glanced around with a grin. "Yeah, but I wanna make his birthday fucking amazing!" he threw his arms out to the side. Luke chuckled, shaking his head slightly and fiddled with his fingers "I don't know what to give him..." he said quietly. 

Ashton smiled and sat down on the bench beside him "I was thinking of writing a song, but I only have one line- Not even- I have one word. No melody, no nothing." he rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. He really wanted to write Michael a song. He had written Luke two and they were amazing. 

Luke definitly had a talent. He could sing, he could play guitar and piano. He could also write songs, but when it came to writing a song for Michael, he was just stuck. He had one word: 

Unpredictable. 

"Well, what's the word you have?" Ashton asked, smiling shortly at Luke. 

"Unpredictable."

Ashton nodded "Okay, we can work with that." Luke raised an eyebrow "We?" Ashton chuckled, standing up, walking over to his bike "Well, yeah. I wanna help you. I helped Michael with some of the songs he wrote for you." 

Luke snapped his head up, his eyes meeting Ashton's "Oh," he smiled "Thank you." 

And he honestly was thankful. 

Luke rose to his feet and walked over to Ashton, who was fumbling with his bike "So, I'll just drop by your house tomorrow and we can plan his birthday and work on your song?" he rambled and Luke almost had to pause him, since he was talking that fast "Wait, what?" 

A blush coated Ashton's cheeks and he looked away "Sorry. Is it okay with you, if I drop by your house tomorrow, so we can plan Mike's birthday and I can help you with your song," he repeated, this time a bit slower. Luke cackled, rubbing the back of his neck "Uh, sure. Just text me before." he looked out at the pond for a brief moment. 

"Of course!" he got on his bike "Well, see ya tomorrow then." He waved and Luke waved back and then he drove off. The blonde's eyes lingered on Ashton's figure for a bit before sighing, also making his way home. 

On his way home, Luke thought about a lot of things. Just like he usually did. He scratched his arm. His wounds was starting to heal, so they were a little itchy. But, he was proud of himself. He was 4 days clean. 

He had a bit of a relapse, he was just so tired of everything and just felt like he couldn't do it anymore. Long story short, he had to get stitches at the hospital. Michael didn't know. He was petrified. He knew Michael wouldn't get mad, he was just scared that he would be disappointed.

"I'm home," Luke called out as he walked into his house "Hi, Lukey. I'm in the kitchen!" Liz called back. Luke took off his shoes and made his way to the kitchen, where he kissed his mum's cheek "How are you feeling?" Luke shrugged and took a seat on one of the kitchen chairs. He was tired. The bags under his eyes could carry groceries and his skin was paler than usual. 

"M'tired... and sore." he stated, resting his chin in his hand, closing his eyes for a moment. Liz sent him a small smile, starting to set the table. He ruffled his hair "Mmh. We're eating in about, half an hour. You can go take a nap?"

"No, it's fine..." he let out a yawn "Okay, I'll go lay down." Liz laughed and pecked his forehead. The blonde stood up and shuffled to the living room, throwing himself on the couch. He closed his eyes with a sigh and cuddled a pillow close to his chest.

He didn't sleep. He just laid on the couch, with closed eyes. Thinking. 

-

"Luke, I have to go to work. I don't know when I'll be home, before eight, I think." Liz poked her head into Luke's room. He was sitting crouched over his desk, working on a drawing. 

"Oh, okay." he smiled slightly "Ashton will be coming over soon, anyway," he informed, putting down his colored pencil. 

"That sounds lovely. If you get hungry, there's some cookies in the cupboards." Luke nodded, thanking his mum quietly. 

They shared their goodbyes and Liz disappeared down the stairs. 

Not long after Liz left, Luke got a text from Ashton that said he was there, which Luke sent a text back saying 'The door is open. I'm upstairs' 

"Hello, Lucas." 

Luke jumped up, almost falling off his chair "Ashton!" he yelped. Ashton let out a laugh, sitting down on Luke's bed "Sorry." 

"Why does people keep scaring me," he muttered under his breath, then turning his attention to Ashton "So, where's your guitar?" Luke smirked and rose to his feet "Follow me." Ashton lifted an eyebrow, but did as told "Okay?"

Luke lead Ashton down the hall to a room and opened it "Welcome to my cave." 

Ashton stepped in and his mouth fell to the floor "Oh. My. God." Luke blushed a bit, he was very proud of his music room. 

There was a few guitars on the wall, that he paid for himself. A piano in the right corner with a microphone attached. There was also a few photos on the wall of singers and bands that Luke liked. 

"Holy shit," Ashton whispered under breath, looking at the different guitars on the wall "This is amazing, Luke. Can I- Can I play one?" 

Luke sat down on the piano bench "Of course!"

"Thank you!" 

He carefully took a golden brown el guitar down from the wall. He sat took a seat on beside Luke on the bench "It's beautiful!" he let his hand glide over it, Luke let out a chuckle "Yeah, it's one of my favourites." 

Ashton giggled "Sorry, we gotta write your song. I just- it's so pretty!"

After Ashton was done fangirling over the guitar they started trying to write the song. Luke was starting to get frustrated, but Ashton made sure he didn't give up.

"Come on, Luke. We almost have the chorus! That's a start! We don't have to write it all now, his birthday is in two months," he comforted. Luke pouted and glanced over what they had written. 

Hey, we're taking on the world

I'll take you where you wanna go

Pick you up if you fall to pieces

Let me be the one to save you

This chapter was so boring at it sucked and it's so short, but I just didn't have time to write anything, i'm sowyy! 

But OMG Youngblood is amazing!!! I can't choose one favourite, they're all so freaking amazing!And Calum's vocals is a blessing! Babylon is honestly one of my faves. I'm so so so proud of them. 

Is anyone else seeing them on tour? I am!! And let me tell you when my dad texted me 'I got tickets' I started to sob so hard. 

Oh, and I'm kinda thinking that I won't be writing a sequel to this... I thought i would, but now I'm not sure if I will... so yeh...

Questions: Thoughts on Lashtons friendship? Luke's relapse and thoughts? Do you think he should tell Michael?

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