And I met you...

Chapter 17

- Everything is good. She's getting better and soon will wake up. But we have found another more serious health problem,- he took a small pause, while I frighteningly kept my breath, - she has cancer.
I chocked up with his words. I had no sense, no words, nothing.
I was just standing as I stood on my place and felt the great pain inside of me. Am I dreaming?  Which cancer?  How could she?
Probably doctor saw my shock and added anxiously:

" Don't worry! It's not a serious grade of cancer and if we do the good medication to her, she will recover. I'm sure 60 percents. We can also remove her lymphus with the help of surgery. "

" Promise me, that she will completely recover after all these medical treatments. I will pay for everything!! " - I felt, that I couldn't control myself anymore. The tears we're spontaneously falling.

" I promise you all 100 percents, but we will do everything that are able to. I am sorry. "

Those words made me seriously ill. I could barely understand anything. I sat down quickly and took my head with shaking and sweating hands. My poor girl is in the risk of dying. And that's all because of me and my stupid problems. She was suffering all this time and I didn't even notice that. That moment I just really hated myself. Finally the doctor daw me struggling with depression again and hurried to call me down. But nobody could fix me that time, except Leyla. But at least he tried.

" Calm down. It doesn't mean that she will die or suffer very bad. We have so much hope that she will recover. The hope is dying last, so don't fall down. Just believe in better. "

" Then Let's do the surgery now. I don't want to wait! How much foes it cost?! "

" Ummm, it's quite expensive. It costs 9000$. " - he said with a little uncomfortableness.

" Maybe your siblings can help.. "
- he couldn't compete his sentence because I interrupted him.

"No, I will pay everything. It's OK."

His face was very surprised, maybe because of how could I have such a lot among of money.

" Umm, OK. Do I will do it tomorrow. "

" Why not now?! "

" we gotta check her condition one more time and be sure to do this surgery. It's very serious. And she gotta have some strengh. Shes so lifeless right now. We cant do it now,knowing she has no sntrengh to get trough the hardness of the painful and long surgery."

After paying all the money, I told her parents what was happened. They were all shocked. I even could hear Leylas fathers shaking voice. But I didn't say the cancer.
I didn't want to emotionally push to them in once.
They came immediately. Her mom's face was completely pale as death. She saw me and they both came towards me. She then stared at me that way like I was naked, which made me really uncomfortable.

" Ummm... Your daughter had fainted... "

I couldn't complete, because Leyla's mother started crying very loudly. She tell on the floor covering her face. And we both with Leyla's father tryed our best to get her up. The nurses gave her some medicine which could calm her down.
So after all this mess, Leylas father finally asked me question and also spoke to me for the first time:

" Can you tell us why did this happen to her? "

He asked it with stern tone, which made Me very nervous.
I didn't know how to start and explain everything, because they will be very bad at me. But otherwise I gotta tell the truth, cause one day Leyla will told everything. Well, if she won't stay angry to me. I hope so.
So do you want to hear the real truth behind our "dark" relationship with Oriana?
Well,I will tell you.
So firstly, Oriana was true. I cheated on her once. And it had it's own reason. Because trough our relationship I was so gentle and kind to her. I did everything to make her happy or smile, at least.
I was very nervous, because it was my first relationship and wanted to please her. But I couldn't get any little attention from Oriana. She even didn't care about me and paxed none attention. I didn't want to day that to her, because I didn't want to hurt her feeling or break her heart. Obviously I didn't like offending someone, because the human has heart and feelings, which might won't fix, if they hurt.
As you know, we are celebrities and we must keep our relationship in secret. But after the small argument, she crashed the stage during our live performance on tour and kissed me so hardly, that I couldn't push her. But then I thought, that it's useless, anyway, cause all the people have already seen and discovered everything.
The crowd happily cheered to us, which made me really surprised. Did they expect me to date Oriana? So, at least, there was no negative comments towards us, almost. Honestly, it was very disgusting  to this this stuff in front of all the Cncowners. I didn't like Orianas behaviour. It was way too hilarious.
So my relax was way too short. Because the new drama was coming, when I didn't expect that.
Some days after, people started to send me mean kind of messages. I was about to go crazy, because my social medias were fireing up with negativness. So I had to close my social media pages for dome while. Well, it didn't help too. Because I was receiving negative comments from people in the public. I couldn't calmly even go out. And the worst thing is that not only my reputation was on zero, but slso the rest of the boys'. I was very ashamed,that was thinking to quit the band for the better way. No one knew that i was struggling with depression which I've never had.
So one day Oriana came to me and asked me why didn't I text or phone her. I was shocked by her comfotableness after everything that she has done. Then I asked her exactly this and she made an angelic face, telling me what I am talking about. Then I explained everything,knowing that she knew the whole story. She was just making me fool. She has wrapped me around her finger. After another misunderstanding I told her to leave me alone and didn't want to talk with her Like this anymore. From that moment I felt like our relationship is over. I didn't fell anything to her. The fire that was burning inside of me, just extinguished.
After the exhausting day, I went on a note ght club to chill somehow there. I got completely drunk. I still don't remember everything clearly. I onlybremember the dancing crowd, the strange smell of alcohol and calyano. The tall strippers, dancing on the top of room.
I go to the nightclubs often and sometimes get too drunk, that can do very stupid things. Also can flirt with some ladies, knowing I have a girlfriend. I was thinking that I don't have her. I even couldn't remember that I have her. Her existence in my life was so empty and useless. Well, I don't do it now, I mean do dumb things, cause I think it's too awkward, especially for a such grown man like me.
So one day my attention caught one very beautiful well dressed lady with a really tan skin and light brown hair. I have found an intelligent and normal girl in her ( I still dont know why) and opened up everything to her. Every single detail of my life, especially my depression, which I didn't tell to anyone. So she was very delighted with my tslkings. I didn't believe in her, bit that Time I really needed some attention from anyone. I remember her every single word and advice. She said that relationship consists of misunderstandings, trustlessness dissapointings and it's normal.
But we gotta support each other in these ways, because these small arguments are so little and fill only 3% in our life and we mustn't make tragedys of them. We mustn't fall down, showing how weak we are. Oppositely, we have to raise our heads and conguer Evey single obstacle, that wants to ruin our life. We shouldn't make them win us, if we don't want to cancel our human belongity.
Her words really motivized me. I fell in love with her only for her words. It's kinda stupid, but I was drunk and didn't thing wisely. But, at least I opened up and washed my depression out. Also I had gained many advices. I was so glad, that she had happened on my way in my hardest days. Then I begin to flirt with her, she did it too. I liked the conversation, which was becoming more intimate. Then she bent to me and kissed me. It was an actual kiss, not a Peck. I didn't resist. I just kept kissing her, completely forgetting about Oriana. Then we went to the private room, not breaking our kiss. We continued the stuff there.    I don't really tememer what happened next, plus it's so awkward to talk. I got up with and saw my T-shirt on the floor. I quickly wore it and saw that girl staring at me sweetely. She told me something like we gotta go and I did what was told, because I could no longer savvy clearly.
As we left the club, I was blinded by the strong flashlights. That was clearly paparazzi, trying to expose, me. I quickly ran to the car with the girl, not understanding the whole scene. I was so sleepy. The girl got out on the halfway. Kissed me and left. It was the last time I saw her. I couldn't even remember her name or number. Nothing.
The next day I found myself on my bed, with clothes on. I was smelling very bad. My head was aching. I felt myself terrible.
Then I found my photos with the unknown girl, while scrolling on instagram. We were holding each others hands. It was terrible to look at. I was shocked. The worst thing was that I didn't remember the whole scene. Some details came to me later a little by little.
So I went to all magazine companies and told them to delete the photos and tell that we are only old friends and nothing had happened between us.
So I calmed everything down in time, in which I was glad. I didn't want the new drama.
So that was the whole, dirty story of me. I know, I am not that sweet Joelito, that was known. I've changed after seeing the fame. I felt how puberty and fame hit me hardly, but in the bad way. I hated my life. I always wanted to run from the cringe reality, that I was living in. I escaped my depression in nightclubs all drunk, with some prostitutes. I felt, that I am not doing well, I hated this way of hiding too. But I couldn't do anything. It was the only reason of escaping. My life had turned into the trash, and I couldn't clean it out. I was polluting it more and more instead.
You can say that the only quilt in this whole stuff is me, but you have to understand me. I was living the worst days of my life and no one knew that.

A/N : Hey guys, I am back! I am so sorry for such a long break. I needed it do much. I had very busy time, but now I promise, I will publish as fast as I can. Thank you for enduring! Love you! ❤