my summer bullshit.

still cant find my track ._.

so basically, I stayed up all night texting Gavin. I told him about Isaiah and shit and to my surprise, Gavin got really jealous.

"kali, are you attracted to this guy? let me see him, I need to see if he's ok for you, you probably don't even know the real him, he could be crazy, you don't know that. I wanna meet him. Can we meet? I don't approve..."

he does this all the time.

I get in a relationship, magically he loves me again.

there was one time when he even helped me plot a break up.

remember when I said we broke up in October? Well, in November, my grandfather died. After me and Gavin broke up, he wouldn't text me at all, but I was really alone and needed someone to talk to because my grandpa was the only man in the world that I ever loved more than Gavin.

The night bedore the surgery he had (and also died from) , he called me just to talk. He promised me that when he woke up he would call

But when he never called I already knew what was happening.

I didn't cry right away. I didn't cry driving to Minnesota, I didn't cry when my grandma did, I didn't cry when I saw my first real snow day without him, I didn't cry at his funeral, I didn't cry when my mom did. I had to be strong for every one around me.

Like I said, I am that friend.

I didn't even cry when Gavin wouldn't text me back. I was falling apart on the inside and nobody was there for me. I was there for everyone else, but I couldn't even get a text back.

and that is what has stopped me from taking him back. each and every time he asks I just visualize myself alone. and that's how I deal with things now.

Alone.

but then there's Isaiah. He would never let me do anything stupid, or get hurt. And if I do, he won't let me be alone.

He gives me the same feeling that I got the first day I met Gavin, and nobody else can do that. Nobody ever has.

but me and Z are going to different high schools, which sucks because that basically means I will never see him again. (z is Isaiah for future references)

So I'm stuck with Gavin's jealous ass and a best friend who I love so much but can't really do anything about.

this is why this book is called "my summer bullshit."

anyway, Gavin proceeds to take our convo to a complete left turn by telling me that his new girlfriend invited him to her house again.

"Bae my parents aren't gonna be home so come over"

....slut

anyway it kinda made me mad. So I asked "why are you telling me this"

and he says

"Cause I want your advice"

Basically, the first time he went, he made a complete ass of himself by trying to get on the "Reagan Raw Express" when she wasn't ready. So he just put his little Johnny back in his pants and left her house.

so he was asking me if he should go back.

I said "no, of course not, your hormones are gonna kick in and you're gone try to smack her funny bags again."

but he didn't listen to me. He went.

But haha he got caught. On top of her. By her dad.

This was all over a course of three days.