my summer bullshit.

Isaiah, you da real MVP

So, I was sitting on my bed basically drenching my plush pillows with my tears, when I had an epiphany.

I do not care anymore? Why? Because me caring was a method of protection for Isaiah's feelings from mY point of view. 

I now realize that that was all inside of my demented mind, and that tbh he couldn't care less about me crying over him because he pretty much has his mind made up. 

I love you for helping me to realize that sometimes I need to put my own feelings first because sometimes brick walls are easier to make happy than people.

Also I'm here to give you credit for this whole "internet diary" ordeal. without your brilliant ideas I would still feel a bit more small than I already do.

Ya'know, I don't hate anybody? I never really judge(just for clarification), and if i don't like you I make it pretty clear to your face.

aNYWAY, I appreciate the lil cinder block of happiness you gave me. I say its a cinder block because its hard to be broken or moved or forgotten about and the pain of the memories hurt as much as dropping it on your toes.

And thanks for making me the slightest bit relevant on the internet. 

But quite frankly, I'm tired of feeling like a second choice, or no choice at all. You've brought me to a realization that self love is something that you'll need oN DECK. bc not everyone you give yourself to spiritually,  is going to provide you with infinite love and giggles and cuddles.

its also comforting to know that we do not exist in any other instance, so half way deep into the milkyway galaxy, nobody is there to hold a watch in our face and phsyc us to sleep. 

Take that ass to the milkyway galaxy boi.

also, we got rid of fefe and got a new kitten named guapo and he's all black and looks just like panther and that cat is my cinderblock.

Goodb-

good riddence.