Mostly stories I write about Sanders Sides. Some are Oneshots and some are all a continuous story. I take requests and prompts, and not all ideas are original.
Most of this really happened to me, fyi. (Patton will represent my mom, and Logan my dad) Tw: Mentiosn if self harm, pictures of the results of the aforementioned, start of a panic attack, very emotional topics. Let me know if I missed anything. Virgil's P.O.V. I was at it again. I never used a knife, but I always scratched at my own arms with my nails. I clawed at my own skin, and left red marks on my wrists.
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I never talked to anyone about it. And the worst part was, I kind of enjoyed the pain. I knew it was bad, that I shouldn't do this, and that I shouldn't enjoy it. But I did, and it scared me. I wanted to stop myself before it was too late, but at the same time, I kinda didn't. It was all too much, and when I couldn't do that I just made Xs on my forehead with my nails. They were barely visible. One time it just became too much, so I went an email to Patton. The subject was 'Well this is one way to tell you...' and the contents of the email were just two pictures.
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The next day Patton brought me to the imagination and told me to get into a car. He was driving, because he said that he knew it was easier to talk to someone when you weren't staring directly at them. We talked it out, and he promised to help me through it. Two days later I was in the imagination again, this time with Logan on a bus. We were coming back from NYC in the imagination, and everything was becoming too much. The cringey movie, my carsickness, and the sounds of everything else were becoming too much for me. I was on the Virge(see what I did there) of a panic attack, and I was already hyperventilating. So I did one of the things that help me. You already know the unhealthy one, but this time I sang. I had my purple jacket on(I actually own a purple jacket) with the hood up and was holding my ears so I could only hear the song. I was singing Place In This World by Taylor Swift, and Logan said that I should song quieter, so I did. A few lyrics later, he tapped me on the shoulder again and to do me that the type of notes I was singing was that specific type that everyone could hear, it was just that type of tone, and that it was annoying. So I stopped. It was all still too much, and I broke down crying silently with my back to him, curled up in a ball on the public transportation. Once I finished crying, I dragged my nails up and down my arm and remade the red line across my wrist. A few minutes later Logan made a casual comment on something, and that's when I just snapped. "I find it funny how you notice when I'm using the healthier of one of my two methods to keep from breaking down and tell me to stop, but when I'm literally dragging my nails across my skin you don't tell me stop." And the worst part? He didn't even really give a response! Even if I know it's not true, he gave off the aura that he didn't care, and that really hurt. He just said "Well..." . I relayed all of this to Patton later that day, and he just talked to me about how I should stop doing that and other methods than hurting myself like that. There's not always a happy ending in real life.
