Random Sanders Sides Stuff

Nightmare

Basically a song fic, based on the lyrics of the song above.
Virgil's P.O.V.
I hate my thoughts. You know why? Because whenever I worry too much about something, or create a hellish monster in my mind, it becomes real. Even if I'm not in my room, that situation, creature, whatever, appears there, and I have to live through either facing it or the horrible situation. So now I have a million nightmarish things inside my room, I've been out of it all day and happened to have an anxiety attack about the monsters, making more and more of them. I grip the doorknob tightly, trying my best not to think up anything else. I let out a sigh, tears pricking at my eyes, and open the door, bolting in and locking it. There must be at least a few hundred, if not a thousand, all sitting there and creeping up on me from the corners, as they all seem to like the dark. An immense feeling of unease overtakes me, and I feel one tap on my shoulder tauntingly. I whirl around, panicked, only to find the only empty corner of the room. I turn back, and they're all gone. I fall to the floor, my mind jumping from thought to thought. There's nothing here, am I just insane? There isn't a being in sight, yet my breathing starts to get faster, my heartbeat increasing as another attack starts. I scream inside my head for it to be over, to just wake up, but it never happens. The realization hits me over the head, making harsh sobs erupt from my throat. I created these monsters, I created this hell for myself, all inside my head. There's no where to escape to, I'm all alone, and terrified. This awful place I created, all the beasts appearing in my brain. All of a sudden a million yellow eyes glare out from the darkness, and the striking thought hits me, I'm not on my own. I try desperately to scream, but nothing comes out, my vocal cords impaired by terror, my mind not allowing me to wake from this nightmare. The unease creeps back as the eyes disappear, something isn't right, they shouldn't be working together. I realize this unease has been growing for a while, not just the regular fear, this has been planned, they've been working up to this for far too long. My vision starts to go fuzzy with panic, the blood draining from my face as the room drops in temperature. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I look like a child again, but looking down at my hands I appear much older and more scared. A fake Patton shows up in the mirror, scooping up the young child and taking him away, leaving me behind. I feel myself crumple as I swiped at from one of the monsters, making me fall from my sitting position to lying on the ground, and finally I scream, shrieking the first words in my head.
"Can anybody save me from myself?" I shout at the top of my lungs, tears streaming down my face. The monsters I created start creeping closer, making this hell even worse. There's still no chance of escape, I'm alone with these creatures until something ends this. I created the worst thing imaginable, a beast from my own brain, so that it knows and can easily do the worst things to me. There's no hope, I'm trapped, forever stuck with a million demons of my own creating. Suddenly I'm in a pitch black place, the only distinguishable place being a cliff nearby. I find myself walking to the ledge, looking down over it. I'm frozen in place as I realize what this experience is, what the next nightmare I'm about to take part in is. And then I'm plunging to the ground, not even knowing how far away it is in this inky darkness. If only I had wings and could fly. I would be able to somehow convince myself the others still need me, and not take it as my time for death. Instead I start falling faster and faster, finally I dive onto the floor. Though as my body hits the pavement I find myself back where I was at the beginning, on my own floor, panicking as the creatures come closer. I have created monsters and whole other worlds, something worse than hell itself in my own head, with no escape as I'm left on my own. I'm scared out of my wits as the demons from my brain walk around me, whispering terrible things, all thoughts coming directly from my head. I have created these beasts inside my brain, allowing them to pry at my every weakness. I wish my brain was able to wake me from this nightmare, but it's not possible. I'm terrified as the thought repeats in my head again, over and over like a broken record. Wake me from this nightmare, I'm too scared Wake me from this nightmare, I'm terrified, death would be better than this Wake me from this nightmare, I can't do this Wake me from my nightmare, I'm horrified Wake me from this nightmare, I'm too scared! Wake me from this nightmare!
I start sobbing uncontrollably, everything just being too much. I don't notice the light that's been slowly fading into my room, though I do notice the abrupt return to  darkness once it's gone. I close my eyes tighter, not caring that the creatures start retreating, nor about the mysterious white figure walking closer. I flinch back as it reaches out, suppressing another scream. I back away, closing my eyes even tighter, yet still squinting so I can see slightly. It looks like a person, so it's probably another horrible scenario, waiting to touch me so it can make everything even worse. They seem to hesitate, reaching out their hand but not trying to touch me again, making me open my eyes a little wider in surprise. Doing so however makes me realize that this isn't a nightmarish situation I imagined, but Roman, looking scared and concerned. My fight or flight instincts give way to one of the slightly lesser known options, freeze, with me not knowing what to do. Unfortunately my anxious thoughts immediately conjure up every possible thing that might go wrong, and I see them start to creep forwards, despite the monsters staying as far away as they can from Roman. I just stay frozen in shock and fear, my eyes darting between Roman, the demons and the nightmares. My fight or flight instincts finally take over, and all thoughts go out the window as I grab his hand, holding on to him for dear life. He just wraps his arms around me, sitting us both down on the bed. The scenarios turn to wisps, the terrifying creatures backing even farther into the shadows as my head starts to clear, fear and panic turning to sadness and desperation as I sob into Roman's shoulder. Eventually that too gives way to a sense of peace and calmness that I haven't felt in a long time. I slowly fall silent, tears still streaming down my face. Though now that I'm no longer in that panicking state, my sudden carelessness hits me like a truck. I imagine how weird and pathetic I must've seemed. I can't even handle the things I created, how could he possibly not think of me as weak? Although my room had returned to it's normal lighting as I calmed down, it starts to get darker again as my thoughts become more invasive, my brain whipping up new scenarios once again. Roman seems to notice, and breaks the silence that fell.
"Are you alright?" He asks quietly, concern lacing his voice. I pull back a little, shocked.
"You-you don't hate me for that? I can't even handle my own mind!" I whisper-shout, confusion swirling around me, thankfully my room doesn't make that real. Now he looks surprised.
"Why would I? I'm sure if I had to go through that even once I wouldn't be able to go back in my room for weeks, yet you must go through this daily and this is the only time that any of us have even noticed! You are so much stronger than I am in this, so why would I hate you for not being able to handle it once?" Surprise and relief fill me, but also confusion. I'm not stronger than him, not at all.
"But I'm not stronger than you. You were even the one who helped me through it!" I blurt out before I can stop myself.
"Maybe not physically, but mentally you are stronger than all of us combined." He says gently, and I know he's being sincere. I look down at my hands, unsure of what to say. The door opens again and I look up to see Patton and Logan standing there, tears in both of their eyes.
"Kiddo" Patton whispers, shocked "How do you handle that? We heard the screaming, everything, but we couldn't open the door. Roman was the only one able to." He continues, sadness clear in his voice and eyes. I don't respond, not knowing how I even should begin.
"Why have you dealt with this alone?" Logan asks, and I can hear the strain in his voice. I shrug slightly.
"I didn't want to bother you guys or make you upset. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, it hasn't gotten this bad in a long time." I say quietly. They all look even more shocked.
"So it has gotten like this before, and we never noticed?" Roman asks, guilt in his voice. I quickly shake my head.
"It was back before you guys accepted me, so I had soundproof walls back then. I didn't think you'd care back then, and once I was accepted it started getting less horrible, so I thought that I could remove the soundproof walls I had put up." I explain, almost pleading for them to not feel guilty for this. Unfortunately, it only serves to make them feel even worse.
"So you were going through all the crap from us, me especially, and on top of that these things would get that horrible and you never lost control, never managed to let it slip that this was going on?" Roman asks, his voice almost breaking.
"No, it just made my walls stronger. I became more protected around you, that's why you never learned about this. It's also why I snapped back sometimes, instead of just letting you insult me like I would have." I say, guilt in my own voice for even admitting it. Sure, make them feel horrible because they decided to help you with your biggest problem, great move. Patton runs forwards, engulfing me in a hug. Logan joins in too until we're all in a giant group hug, none of us wanting to break the comfortable silence. Out of nowhere, Thomas summons us, making us all land on the floor in a heap. We stand up, slightly embarrassed, and step back to our separate spots.
"What just happened? I felt really anxious for no reason, then I felt really guilty, and now I feel calm. What's going on?" This, if possible, makes the other three look even more guilty, realizing that all the times I made Thomas anxious for no reason, it's because something like that happened. I mean, at least they know now.
"Sorry Thomas, my room got a little too much for me." I say nonchalantly, surprising the others. Thomas notices.
"Then why do the other three look so surprised?" He asks suspiciously. I chuckle slightly, he never misses a trick.
"Well that's because they finally saw what it's like when my room gets out of hand." I say, glad that Patton and Logan only saw glimpses of the monsters. Thomas looks slightly taken-aback, glancing at them before refocusing on me.
"And that would be...?" He motions for me to finish.
"Literal monsters and terrifying scenarios plaguing me, but the monsters didn't attack me, not this time. Though one did swipe at me, but it missed." I say casually, startling everyone. I forgot, they didn't see the monsters attack.
"Wait, they swiped at you? And they've hurt you before?!" Roman's shocked and upset, moving his hands frantically as he speaks. Now Thomas looks more confused, as well as concerned.
"So all the times I've gotten more anxious-?" He cuts himself off, but I finish for him anyways.
"I was being bombarded by my own my mind. Yep." I say, already calm enough to act normal. I've dealt with this since I've formed after all. He looks ashamed, before an idea hits him.
"Wait, I think you guys might've done it before, but is there a way for one of us to relive another's memories? Only if you want to of course." He hurries to add, not wanting to force us into anything. I nod, and concentrate on allowing the others to relive my most recent memory of my own room. Sadly, this means I have to relive it too. I stop it just as the door opens, bringing us back to the present. They all are barely keeping tears from falling down their faces, staring at me with wide eyes. I simply shrug, used to it by now, making them look regretful as well.
But even if my room is a literal nightmare come true, at least I know one thing for sure. I will always have my famILY here to support me, no matter what happens. They finally awoke me from my nightmare.

This has just been sitting here for months, because I didn't know how to end it. I literally added three sentences, so sorry if my writing is a little different.