à la folie (To Insanity)

Chapter 2- Jackson

   I support most of Raven’s weight after she stumbles for the fourth time. We aren’t far from safety, about a mile or so, but the snow is making the trek more difficult. Raven finally stops, clenching her teeth and holding my arm tightly. This worries me, she doesn’t usually show it when she’s having trouble or when she’s in pain. Now, however, I can tell it's both. She looks like she's about to cry, and like she wants to hit something, probably because of the frustration. When she sees me looking, the hardness of her dark eyes softens a little. She is still breathing heavily when she starts limping back to catch up with the others. I slide my arm back around her waist as we begin to walk once more.

    After another hour of avoiding people and struggling through snow, we can finally see our destination, a large oak tree guards the entrance to our underground hive. Raven stops when we are at the border of rubble that separates the destroyed city from our base. Her already light skin looks unhealthily pale against the black of her coat. Angie walks over to the roots of the tree and reaches down into the deep snow covering the small metal hatch. Dan drops his bag and runs over to help her. I stay put, concerned about Raven. Her breaths are coming in short ragged gasps; and I can feel her racing heart through her coat. Raven’s body sags against mine, her strength failing. I hold her up as best as I can, not wanting to pick her up.

    Angie and Dan finally haul the hatch up and stop for a moment to catch their breaths before retrieving their bags and sliding into the darkness of The Hive. I tighten my arm around Raven’s waist and lead her over to the entrance. When I look at her face, I see a wild look in her eyes. She starts shaking again, it's not from the cold I can tell. She presses her body closer to mine when I try to let her go so she can slide down. Instead, I sit her down and climb down the hatch first, almost missing the ladder. I forgot it was there. 

    I climb part way down and balance on the ladder so I can guide Raven down, my hands on her waist. She stumbles when her feet reach the ground and almost falls completely, but I draw her back into my arms before she hits the ground. Her breathing hasn't evened out yet, so we wait at the bottom of the ladder until it does.The hatch above slams shut, a dull thud ringing through the hall. I lead her through the tunnel until we reach the end, Raven clinging to my arm the whole time. She looks around in amazement when the tunnel opens up into a larger room full of people. When my supervisor, Matthew, approaches us, she reaches instinctively for a blade. I clasp her hand firmly in mine to reassure her that she's safe. She draws her hand back and instead slides the charm of her necklace along the silver chain. It looks familiar somehow, almost as if I've seen it before.

    After a quick word with Matthew, I lead Raven to her new apartment. When I try to lie her down she clings to my coat so I won't lie her down. She looks up at me and I can see the fear in her eyes, suddenly I can't leave her here alone, so I take her with me to my apartment. I unlock the door and nudge it open with my foot. Everything is as I left it, simple and clean. There's not much in my small apartment, just a few small decorations, my bed, and a bookshelf with a few books on the virus study. On top of my shelf, I have some scattered papers. 

    I set Raven down on my bed and peel off her coat and boots. She doesn’t move when I lie her back and I check her breathing before I move to unpack my supplies. I pull out my medical kit and move towards Raven, she jumps when I touch her leg, her skin feels warm. As I unwrap her bandages, I notice that she had started to bleed again, recently by the looks of it. She pulls away and I hold her leg to the bed, she tries to pull it back again but then lies still. I inject her with a pain relieving serum and she relaxes as it takes effect. Raven falls asleep as I am cleaning her wound and once I finish I busy myself with the supplies in my medical kit. Even once everything is cleaned up I continue moving and shifting things around, trying to keep my hands busy.

    I wake on the floor, confused as I don't remember falling asleep. Raven is lying on the edge of the bed, her finger tips almost touching the ground. It's the first time the lighting has been good enough for me to really see her, making it as if I'm seeing her for the first time. She wakes suddenly as I'm studying her, causing me to jump slightly. Her voice is barely a whisper when she speaks, “How long was I out for?” I tell her no more than a day, we've all been sleeping for that long. The trip had take a lot out of us. I can tell that I had been out for a while because my back was hurting from the hardness of my floor. Now that she's awake, I keep stealing looks at her out of the corner of my eye. She pushes herself up onto one elbow, watching me as I stand to help her.

    I pull her legs over the side of the bed and she wraps her arms around the back of my neck. Raven pulls herself up, and I hold her waist to steady her. Her body is pressed against mine again and her lips find mine within seconds. I push her gently back onto the bed and sit beside her. There is nowhere I’d rather be right now, all I want is Raven. She sheds her jacket, now only wearing her tight fitting pants and a tank top. She places one hand on my waist and hangs the other back around my neck. I am aware of everywhere her body is touching mine, I’m not sure if I should be doing this but when Raven kisses me again, all of my doubt falls away and I pull her closer. She suddenly pulls away, a look of confusion on her face.

    I now realize why I was reluctant to let this happen, the injection I gave her causes confusion and impairs your judgement sometimes, I don't want to build a relationship with her based on deception. This thought scares me, we only meet four days ago but she seems to feel the same way. She looks at my face, her hand sliding up to trace my jaw. She kisses me again and I look into her eyes when she pulls back, she is sure of this, there is no confusion in her eyes this time. Raven lies her head against my chest and draws her legs closer to her. I wrap my arm around her and we stay like this for about an hour, neither one of us speaking. I pull away from Raven and lie her back down on my bed, not wanting to wake her. 

    She wakes as I'm pulling on my boots and jacket, I need to go out and help bring more supplies in from another group that just came in. I tell her to stay in here until I come back, and not to stand. My door swings shut and the sound reverberates through the stone halls. I follow the hall back to the entrance tunnel we used yesterday, were a group of people has already gathered to wait for today's group to enter. I help haul the supplies through the hatch and pile everything up near the storage room.